Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Mobile Texpterts needed - Android V iPhone

(14 Posts)
IfIKnewThen Sat 28-May-16 18:11:34

Looking for help with a mobile tech question, have Googled it to death but still none the wiser.

Long time separated from abusive ex. His (court-order) weekend with DC. Special event today, long time in the planning and one which I have supported DC with by supporting them to prepare for. Ex, no input to this whatsoever.

History, pre-Court Order, of him asking for major changes of contact at last minute and disrupting long-standing events/parties etc. for DC (of which he was notified by myself well in advance and asked for his input - zero responses to date).

I usually use e-mail to give myself time to respond to his fuckwittery - the time to breathe is invaluable, but text if query or information is time sensitive.

Event today has been diaried and promoted by organisers for the past 12 weeks. DC's feet knitting socks with excitement that I and and ex would both attend, albeit separately.

Ex e-mailed late last night to suggest (believe me, I thought this was progress!) that he drop off DC and I then attend event before he came back (his proposal meant that I would have @50 minutes at event, him - more than three hours but hey ho). I accepted his controlling offer by email. Ex was, deliberately, vague on HIS expected time of arrival so I had to figure in 10 minutes of safety time.

An hour before I was due to arrive (event is a 10 minute walk), I had to deal with an injured pet emergency. I sat with pet until they passed meaning that I was now half an hour into my time. I texted Ex and said that I had been held up and asked that he delay his arrival by 20 minutes so that I could at least show face and quickly see DC at event. Text 'delivered' (both of us added this after Mediator advice).

No reply.

Ex attended event (he has to pass house on the way) for two hours. Ex finally left left event with DC (again, I saw the car pass) half an hour BEFORE end of event.

Ex texted four hours later to say that he hadn't seen my text and had JUST read it (Bollocks).

Would I be an unreasonable, screeching harpy to ask for a message read time? I know that DCs will be angry, upset, and very disappointed that I did not attend - never mind the trauma of the loss of a much loved pet.

I'm the prehistoric Android PAYG he's the contact iPhone 6. Could he alter the time on a message that he did read? TIA

Shortly before I was expected at event,

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 28-May-16 18:14:51

What app are you using to message?

IfIKnewThen Sat 28-May-16 18:17:22

Apologies for random sentence at end of post - prehistoric PAYG mobile not playing nice sad

IfIKnewThen Sat 28-May-16 18:18:58

AnchorDownDeepBreath Android phone, whatever it came with. I have no idea, sorry.

andadietcoke Sat 28-May-16 18:19:51

I don't think you'd be able to get a 'message read' time unless you were both on what's app, or both on iMessage and had read reports activated.

andadietcoke Sat 28-May-16 18:20:17

I don't think you'd be able to get a 'message read' time unless you were both on what's app, or both on iMessage and had read reports activated.

IfIKnewThen Sat 28-May-16 18:27:02

No WhatsApp ( I had to Google that to even find the correct spelling). I have always relied on 'delivered' to know that he had read a text. He was previously Android too though.

Google says changes to a text being read can be turned off on iPhone, but is this still possible after a text has been read?

Thank you for your replies, taking my mind off murder (joke). Death of pet, and telling DC, is...I actually have no words.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 28-May-16 18:56:54

You can't get read reports if you're using android to iPhone on the standard message app. The data isn't sent correctly.

Delivered means it's reached his phone, not that he's read it.

You can turn off read reports on an iPhone but it would only matter iPhone to iPhone anyway, and it wouldn't mean you edit the time. You can just stop it reporting one at all. It's an iMessage thing though and whilst he may be using iMessage, as you're not, it'll be sending as a text message and therefore that data isn't transmitted.

pocketsaviour Sat 28-May-16 19:00:41

When a message says its "delivered" it just means it was sent to the phone. It doesn't specify whether the person has actually got their phone out of their pocket/handbag and read the text.

WhatsApp would solve this issue as it shows both delivered and read status. If you can persuade your ex to install it.

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with the loss of a pet as well as this hassle. Hope you and DC are okay. flowers

IfIKnewThen Sat 28-May-16 19:05:02

Thanks for your knowledge Anchor , I'll dial down my rage and chalk this one down to experience.

But I know he received and read it...

Grateful thanks for all replies, will go and deal with pet burial.

IfIKnewThen Sat 28-May-16 19:12:22

Thank you pocket - I will suggest WhatsApp to Ex. to avoid future misunderstandings. DC not home until tomorrow night, double blow and guilt for me not being there today and death to explain to them. Your lovely flowers will be laid respectfully on beloved animal's grave.

Herald Sat 28-May-16 19:17:51

Whatsapp is good for seeing if a message is delivered and I use it with my exw for the same reason , but it now has a 'unread' feature so messages can be 'read ' then 'unread' ...😕

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 28-May-16 19:17:57

I did mean to say sorry about everything, your pet and the event. It sounds like you've had a really rough day.

I went into work mode explaining the tech side and forgot. Sorry blush

IfIKnewThen Sat 28-May-16 19:37:19

Herald once bitten and all that, but not impressed with the ability to 'unread' something as you describe - abusive Exs' get out clause courtesy of tech. Will have a rethink in light of all the information posted. Thank you.

Anchor you answered my question, I needed that to process my feelings about today (all of it). You couldn't have been more helpful and it was very much appreciated. Blush emoticon so not necessary. Grateful thanks to you.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now