Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

You cannot communicate with batshit

(563 Posts)
Pingpang Fri 27-May-16 22:23:38

Following on from a recent thread regarding those who are NC/LC with family members.

Welcome to the good ship Narcymcnarcface! The bar is stocked and there's a seat for everyone. Shuffleboard starts in 20 mins.

Merd Fri 27-May-16 22:36:13

<Clambers on board and salutes> grin

We need YCCWB wristbands.

ScreenshottingIsNotJournalism Fri 27-May-16 22:42:55

Hello new thread!

So, as I was saying on the old thread, anyone seen The Bridge? Saga & her mother!! (mainly the way her mother reduced a successful capable women to a bag of nerves, more so than the plot - but that too!)

mummyto2monkeys Fri 27-May-16 22:45:41

😂

What time is dinner with the Captain?

Baconyum Fri 27-May-16 23:01:35

<waves and looks around to ensure no narc spies or flying monkeys>

Hi all!

Did someone mention food?

ComeOnKenneth Fri 27-May-16 23:30:00

<waves and clinks cocktail glass to fellow passengers>

Present! Thanks for setting a new thread up.

LizKeen Sat 28-May-16 00:02:30

I need to catch up on the last bit of the old thread, but marking here for now.

smile

LizKeen Sat 28-May-16 00:03:58

We need YCCWB wristbands.

Totally agree. grin

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 28-May-16 00:52:11

Stepping on board. Left a post on the previous thread as well, as I appeared to have been a touch insensitive.

thanks and wine to all aboard. smile

GarlicSteak Sat 28-May-16 01:13:14

I know I should just add to my Watch list, but never check it blush

I like this ship! A cruise is just what I need.

toomuchtooold Sat 28-May-16 06:26:18

Hello! <starts pouring extremely strong rum cocktails from hip flask stashed about person>

Perhaps I'll be able to serve, in the next few weeks, as an object lesson in why you shouldn't try to communicate with the batshit. I'm hoping it might be quick and painless, probably quick and painful - however I do live a long long way away so that helps.

*screenshot " I think we'll make The Bridge our next DVD binge watch.

Pingpang Sat 28-May-16 07:00:19

Morning! Just a couple of housekeeping things- please take note of your nearest muster station as there will be a drill later on this morning. Also, flying monkeys have been reported on the starboard side.

Wristbands distributed at the midday buffet.
<have never actually been on a cruise>

Sgoinneal Sat 28-May-16 08:09:10

Great thread. I definitely don't communicate with my batshit people (hi, PIL) but having another wobble due to imminent arrival of dc2. Even after everything. Even after what they did when dc1 was born and I wobbled to give them a last chance at some kind of contact. I know that this time I won't, I categorically will not communicate. But I just feel total sadness that this is even part of anyone's life, I don't understand how people can behave like this.

NC is the only way we can have a sane, happy and stable family life but it feels at times so harsh and that's not who I am, I'm normally a diplomat but as we all know... You can't communicate with batshit!

Pingpang Sat 28-May-16 08:17:58

Screen, haven't seen that yet. I have so many things taped that I need to get watching them first before I commit to something new.

Mummyto2, you can nominate yourself to sit beside the captain if you're feeling particularly low.

Baconyum, there are a number of dining options on board, let me know if you have any particular dietary requirements.

I'm going to nominate the many forms of Garlic for a special first days sailing prize, mainly for demonstrating in real time on the other threads on the other site the title of this one. Batshit doesn't begin to describe it.

In case I don't mention it, I have read everyone else's posts and it has been both shocking and reassuring to see how many others are, so to speak, in the same boat <pun intended >.

I didn't put a lot on the last thread but hoping to add a bit more to this one.

Sending you all a breakfast buffet

Pingpang Sat 28-May-16 08:20:48

Sgoinneal, I found the batshit levels ramped up before, during and after the births of my DCs. I think it's because they realise they will have less of your attention so have to act up even more to get noticed.

Rosenwyn1985 Sat 28-May-16 08:55:55

A delightful level of batshit (my "d"m) decided the other day to nag mutual family to get me to allow her contact with dc. But she wanted contact without me, when they were elsewhere.... She's married to a convicted paedophile (she kicked me out for him). Yup... She thinks that's okhmm. I said no and still maintaining my nc, three years and counting.

I know what you mean sgoinneal, can't argue with batshit but sometimes you can't help but wonder.....

toomuchtooold Sat 28-May-16 09:02:42

Pingpang re the batshit getting worse when one's children are born - yes to that, looking after the kids took me away from my constant efforts to keep her on an even keel (see what I did there). She needs her reality managed for her on an hour to hour basis.

Merd Sat 28-May-16 09:20:33

Hah! I've been told I need to "get a move on" as she wants to "live to meet her grandchildren".

Now, that's a perfectly normal sentiment - except that every summer, holiday, Christmas, birthday, occasion since I was about fifteen maybe, we've been guilt-tripped (and now I get it from sibling too) by endless "this may be our last xxxx together, you know, mum's not very well. Be nice." Almost 20 years of this shit.

In fairness, she was kind about the MCs, to the point I almost cried. Right until she started using them to get sympathy for herself.

Now that they know we're trying, I've also been told to be nice to her as she's "my main childcare you know" hmm Like fuck. I'd rather die of exhaustion.

Sgoinneal Sat 28-May-16 10:04:25

Ah it's ok pingpang, we are (thankfully) NC, but it's just so far removed from any idea I have of a normal family, I do have wobbles where I think 'it can't be as bad as I think'. I usually have a glance at an old email or two and shudder...

After we had dc1 (they didn't know) things went nuclear for a bit to the point where the police were nearly involved. I need to remember how stressful they made that time I think. The title of this thread may become a mantra.

Blushingm Sat 28-May-16 11:25:25

Snort Narcy McNarcface!

Blushingm Sat 28-May-16 11:26:59

Ps I seem to have a lot of batshit - real and in law. How lucky and I?

toomuchtooold Sat 28-May-16 12:53:23

Blushing I think AC of batshit parents do tend to find each other... DH's family are less extreme than mine but similar, and I think we were attracted to one another's plain talking and stuff.

MissOpheliaBalls Sat 28-May-16 13:00:16

Mil falls into Narcy McNarcface territory. She saw our children once at a family event; ds was four months and dd 2 and half. They are now 21 and 23. She felt compelled to tell me that "I had broken up her little family and she would never acknowledge her gc". The little family was my dh, her and her daughter. Coming from a damaged, but loving family I was rather flommoxed by her little tirade and just stood up and moved away. The last time dh saw her was about 6 years ago, at her request. When he arrived she spent ten minutes screaming at him; he won't see her again (his choice). NC is weird, heartbreaking and confusing to start with, but persevere. It will save your children from much confusion in the long run. Be honest with them in an age appropriate manner and don't feel guilty. Being a parent is a priviledge not a right and that applies to grandparents and aunts and uncles alike.

quirkychick Sat 28-May-16 14:19:58

You cannot communicate with batshit is exactly why we went nc with Sil. I was trying to reason with her and got loads of rants, at that point I decided that it was pointless...

Very interesting, whoever put the link to "covert narcissism", a cousin of Dp's is this exactly, very sullen, spoilt, entitled and if you say anything you get lots of emails of vitriol and false accusations. We are nc with cousin too, after they tried to send "fake" emails from dp. No great loss.

I know what people mean about parents not letting children grow up. When mil treats dp badly we get "But you're my son", a pity she doesn't behave like a proper mother. It's definitely a control thing. Dp works from home but mil doesn't see it as a proper job, she doesn't recognise it. Apparently, mil is keeping dp and us, with a gift of money she gave to all her children hmm. We are lc with her, but she does live near but we keep most things on a superficial level. We are honest with Dd1, and she is quite perceptive and accepts that granny is a bit "nuts", though she is generally pretty well-behaved to dcs.

blueskyinmarch Sat 28-May-16 14:34:28

Thalo

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now