He rang at 9:30pm. The house phone is on silent after 8pm as youngest DC is a light sleeper. I was upstairs chatting to DC and trying to get them to go to sleep. I didn't see that he had called til 11:30 (when I was on my way to bed) and he had left a shouty message saying to "for God's sake, answer your phone" he was phoning to confirm an arrangement to meet up the following day. I text him at 11:30pm saying I'd ring in the morning and when I did (at 8:30am) he shouted at me again for not answering my phone. I said I was busy with DC he says you should have your mobile with you - what if it's an emergency 
. Well I live several hours away from them so it wouldn't be me they'd be expecting to rescue them. When we met up he wouldn't look at me and only spoke to tersely answer my questions. We lasted 5 minutes before I said goodbye and left. It is likely he will not speak to me for months now. I am so upset. We have never had a good relationship - he has always given the impression that he thinks I am stupid but he is loyal and supportive in other ways (practical ways like fixing my car, filling my oil tank in winter, and so on) but to be honest I don't feel good about myself after any dealings with him. I don't know what I hope to achieve by posting this but I am so upset by this, I don't want to have to deal with him again.
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My father won't speak to me because I didn't answer my phone when he called
Skrewt · 26/05/2016 11:32
Sorry you're going through this, OP - I know exactly how you feel. My dad is very similar. Growing up, he made my life a fucking misery with this kind of emotional abuse, and I had to have psychotherapy to try and come to terms with some of the damage he did.
Whilst it eventually emerged that my dad has Huntington's disease, which explained a huge amount of his behaviour, there are things I just can't forgive, one of which was making me feel like his love for me was very much conditional. If I didn't act in a way he approved of, he withheld everything, emotionally and otherwise.
As PPs have said, try to take some of the control back here, and keep things on YOUR terms. That's what I had to do, and yes it's difficult, but your life will be a lot less stressful if you do 
Even though our relationship has always been poor it's very hard to get perspective on your parents. I spoke to my mother today and while she didn't refer to it directly she did say she was worried he was getting too angry about things - irrationally so - and she's worried he may be "slipping". He's 72. Thing is he was like this all the time I lived at home, he improved once he retired but is back to being tetchy and rude again. I want to understand (and forgive) because maybe he is under pressure for some reason but I cannot get over the fact that he would not speak to one of his (many 
) friends like this. Your replies have helped me to stop crying over it though so thanks.
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