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Update on post about narcissist

(7 Posts)
Sashanicole01 Tue 24-May-16 22:27:24

I posted a while back about a relationship which ended very badly.
To give an overview:
I was with this guy for 2 years, I left my whole life to move 3 hours away from my home so he could pursue his career. He didn't treat me well, I suffered anxiety, depression and alopecia because of this. He blamed a lot of things on me and picked me up and dropped me as he pleased.

I posted on here and based on the situation everybody gave me a lot of support, and told me to get out of there asap.

A couple of months have passed now, and I've been happy to be busy with my friends, but he has already got a new girlfriend and I'm really struggling to cope with that.

He blocked me completely from his life and it would seem there was a lot of lying involved in his part.

Yet he still paints me in a bad light while I'm the one left miserable while he's off with this new girl.

Any advice on letting go of a narcissist? Cutting the strings of still feeling attached to them despite the awful nature in which he treated me?

flamingnoravera Tue 24-May-16 22:41:23

I was there too, four years ago. I'd cut my ties with my narc but there he was living his gilt edged guilt free life and I'd been replaced within days.

All I could do was keep on slogging the daily grind, remembering that I WAS FREE and no matter what he said or did, I KNEW my truth. It took a lot longer than a short relationship should to get over, but I was determined I would, and, there was no choice.

So, keep on keeping on, it will get better, it will hurt less, you can do this.

flamingnoravera Tue 24-May-16 22:45:21

Tactics include: doing stuff you like that he hated, hanging out with nice people- ones he wrote off but you knew were good people, a holiday to somewhere he would hate, cut off Facebook, block all avenues to know anything about him or him you. Work hard, spend more time with your children/family/friends.

Anything he hated, do it and enjoy it!

Aussiebean Tue 24-May-16 23:00:58

Maybe do a little more research on narcs. It may help you realise that the fault lies with him and that you should count your blessings that he has moved onto another and is not trying to get you back.

Guiltypleasures001 Wed 25-May-16 10:33:12

Hi op

There's a few threads on here lately where the ops have come out of awful situations, but are consumed with the fear of being painted in a shitty light by their ex's.

If you could for one minute consider the amount of posters that come to the aid of the stressed and anxious posters on here over the days months years on here. This site is one among many, I probably wouldn't be far wrong to say tens of thousands want to offer advise and empathy.

Now if you think about it everyone of those people is a member of the public who has a real life in various capacities and rolls in the real world.

If they are able to spot a fuckwit or Narc just from a post on the Internet, I think we can safely assume that faced with a ranting ex male or female slagging off there ex partner publicly and constantly.

The majority of us would be raising an eyebrow to say the very least, most would be thinking I can see why they left you, blimey your a nutter.

My long winded point is, most right minded people and there's more of us than not, don't judge you just because someone else says so, often don't really care or have the time to listen to the rant anyway.
Smile and nod and then make a quick exit.

Some are drama queens and will get involved, that's life I'm afraid

Just because someone says so, doesn't make them or it right.

"No one can make you feel inadequate, with out your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt

flowers

WaterWorld Wed 25-May-16 10:38:18

Sash
No advice but some understanding form me.

As my narc was my dFather I am feeling bizarrely rudderless without his interfering controlling influence.

Meanwhile he is and has been busy tarnishing my reputation with all our mutual family contacts. He is so convincing in his stance that no-one has contact me to see if he is correct or even to see if I am ok sad

mickyblueyes Wed 25-May-16 11:24:57

Any advice on letting go of a narcissist?

No contact if possible - It's easier said than done, but try and stick to it

Block - Social media, phone number, email etc...

New girlfriend - The fact that he discarded you so quickly and has another girlfriend should tell you that this behaviour probably isn't that of a normal mentally healthy human being, she's just a new form of supply to his narcissism, be thankful it's not you anymore!

Spend time on you - Sounds like your doing the right thing, be happy with your friends and spend time getting to like 'Who you are'. People like your ex are emotional vampires and suck the life and confidence out of the people they feed off. Take time to get that part of you back.

Read and research - If you still need answers on whats happened to you and you haven't done so already...read up on dealing with a Narcissist, what they are...

Just Be happy with who you are

All the best

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