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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Help me stop thinking about someone I can't have

12 replies

pineappleeyes · 24/05/2016 06:24

That's all really. I think about him day and night, i go over what was said and how exciting it all was. He hasn't treat me particularly nicely so why do I still want him. Please help. I desperately want to erase him.

OP posts:
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ALaughAMinute · 24/05/2016 06:38

What's the circumstances? Is he your ex?

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RiceCrispieTreats · 24/05/2016 06:48

Time, distance, and distractions:

  • Change your patterns so that you have no more interactions with him,


  • throw yourself into a hobby of your own so that your time and mental energy is used on something else,


  • have a go-to topic to think about whenever you find yourself mulling about him (planning your next holiday, for example)


  • And let time work its magic.
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pineappleeyes · 24/05/2016 07:47

He's a friend I had a fling with OP. I knew I'd end up getting hurt but I got carried away in the excitement of it all. Hes gone cold on me :-(

OP posts:
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QuiteLikely5 · 24/05/2016 07:49

You live and learn. Put this one down to experience. Time is the only healer I know of in circs like this

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bbconfusedbb · 24/05/2016 15:13

How old are you and him? Did he lead you on at all OP?

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timelytess · 24/05/2016 15:18

Just accept the pain as part of the game. As said above, cut contact and keep busy.

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pineappleeyes · 24/05/2016 16:14

I'm. Mid 30s he's slightly younger. Yes he did lead me on. He did the chasing .

OP posts:
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lonerboner · 24/05/2016 16:28

There is only one way

Time.

But you just really must go no contact, delete everything, throw away any memories etc ....

It's hard so so hard but you can do it.

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Gabby99 · 24/05/2016 16:31

He hasn't treated you well OP. It would be easy for me to forget him for this reason alone. You need to focus on how he has treated you and not what it may have been.

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KoalaDownUnder · 24/05/2016 16:32

I had the same problem.

I went no-contact (not that difficult, tbf, as he now lives on the other side of the world).

Unfriended and blocked him on FB.

Deleted his number.

Act as if he never existed.

It still hurts, but the alternative would be worse.

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pineappleeyes · 24/05/2016 17:10

How do I stop reliving what was. I miss the affection, banter & excitement. I know I can do it it's just so hard. Hes in my mind permanently. And yes op I keep thinking he's treat me so bad so why do I still want him? I think it's simply because I can't have him.

OP posts:
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RosieSW · 24/05/2016 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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