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Is there anything I can do about this harrassment

(8 Posts)
DilemmaDilemmaDilemma Tue 24-May-16 00:28:04

I can't believe my life has been reduced to the script of a very soap opera.

My "friend" I will call her Sue. Has been a very nasty presence in my life for way too long. We met when she begged to help me with a community project and in the end against my better judgement I relented.
She is 60 years old but drinks vodka a litre at a time and she thrives on drama. I couldn't possibly put down here all the trouble she has stirred up while I have known her.
I tried to end our friendship a few years ago and she was ringing me I the early hours spewing bile into my answerphone and was telling terrible lies about me to anyone who would listen.
I was in a pa and ea relationship at the time and she was lying to my dp about me having affairs. Which could have got me a beating. I made friends with her to stop this because i just couldn't cope anymore.
I finished my relationship but for practical and financial reasons (and a degree of control on his part) we still live in the same home. I still have to account for my movements etc.
I recently couldn't cope with sue any longer, she is an active member of UKIP and she used the "n" word in my home. She knows I'm not racist. I saw red and threw her out. Well now the abuse has started again. The lies, the drunk enough phone calls until 5am. My son is in the middle of exams ffs! I have changed the landline number but it's such a ball ache and I did nothing wrong! She is messaging my ex dp on Facebook about me being a cheap shag, knowing it will incite him. (I haven't had a shag for years sadly, besides the point I know).
She is sending the same vile messages to my eldest son who is hundreds of miles away at uni. And to my stepdaughter who is coping with possibly life limiting illness. She is utterly deranged.
I have lost half a stone in a week. Haven't slept much since she started the calls. My ex has started to believe her lies and I'm now on egg shells.
What can I do? There is so much more to this that will out me but I haven't left out anything important, IE I haven't done anything to deserve this.
I feel like she is goading me to tell her husband about her own 8 year affair so she can "prove" to everyone how evil I am. Her husband wouldn't care btw.
Legal action is too expensive but how do I stop someone who is this determined to do me harm? She has always been obsessive with me rather than friendly iyswim. But with a controlling, stalker ex to manage as well I'm starting to think that they are right and there is something wrong with me.

I'm so sorry for the length of this post.

EBearhug Tue 24-May-16 00:31:56

Have you phoned 101 and asked for advice?

Dilemmadilemmadilemma Tue 24-May-16 00:32:22

I'm so sorry for all the typos.

Enough phone calls = abusive calls

Very(?) Soap opera = soap opera

Dilemmadilemmadilemma Tue 24-May-16 00:35:32

I haven't Ebear because I don't think she has broken the law as such. Is it illegal to tell lies? And how do I prove its lies? I have kept all recordings and messages so I suppose I could let them have a look/listen?

It just sounds so petty and playground like when I try to explain to anyone but it really is ruining my already, pretty crap life.

EBearhug Tue 24-May-16 00:40:22

Well, it sounds like harassment to me - phone calls till 5am, messaging you ex and your son. Presumably you asked her to stop, but she still hasn't.

They can advise you on whether she has broken the law, and what to do to stop it or if it escalates. Please call them and ask.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs Tue 24-May-16 00:46:34

Legally, if she were called on it, you don't have to prove it lies, she has to prove it is true. By saying it online she is publicly putting lies about you in writing.

However, I'd say it is harrassment at very least (even if it weren't also untrue). So yes call 101 and get them to have a word.

If you fear your ex may attack you and you really have no choice but to stay with him, keep your phone on you at all times. If he attacks you contact the police.

Dilemmadilemmadilemma Tue 24-May-16 00:57:30

I have had no interaction with her at all, except one text I sent before I blocked her, telling her that I was blocking her and that if she continues that I will report her to the police. So I guess that was clear enough.

If the police speak to her will it just feed her drama lust though?

Dilemmadilemmadilemma Tue 24-May-16 00:58:58

Thank you both. I don't feel so daft calling 101 for advice now.

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