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"your mum is your mum for the whole of your life, whilst you can have more than one wife..."

(13 Posts)
chakachumchom Mon 23-May-16 22:27:40

This is a comment made by my friend's husband after I told him about a few issues between MIL and I and subsequent issues between DH and me. DH wants to back me up, but clearly is struggling to do so due to emotional ties etc.

My friend also has issues with her MIL but is much more tolerant than I. When I told her husband about my own issues I thought he might then become more empathetic with my friend and his own DM. This is how he responded.
What are everyone's thoughts? I found it rather arrogant, but hes also quite right, isn't he?
He also said " let's see how you feel in 20 years time when some woman wants to take your boys away from you. I know you'll put up a good fight..."

fuzzywuzzy Mon 23-May-16 22:30:55

Ex used to say something like that.

Note the 'ex'

The man sounds like a twat and I feel sorry for his wife.

Jimjamjoos Mon 23-May-16 22:32:47

A wife should not be viewed as temporary. Twat.

FreshHorizons Mon 23-May-16 22:34:19

It is like the DD is a DD all her life and DS until he gets a wife saying- they are all rubbish! Ignore.

chakachumchom Mon 23-May-16 22:44:01

I'm quite surprised by the comment as he appears to be very much in love with his wife (my friend). Although I'm not sure he respects her as much as he should. He doesn't tend to value her opinions a lot.

123rd Mon 23-May-16 22:45:15

Why would you need to put up a good fight when sons find a partner? Bloody pathetic. My mil is really hard work. My dh backs me 99% of the time. The other 1% I'm probably over reacting.
Dh feels that mil tries to "cling on to him" it's not me taking him away!

offside Mon 23-May-16 23:05:16

Not another MIL always says to me "a daughter is a daughter for life but a son is only a son until he takes a wife" winds me up no end. DP doesn't bat an eyelid as he says she's always saying it. But I know the connotations. And if we have a disagreement about it, I always get the "just imagine how you would feel if you didn't see DD as much [because she has her own family]" BS. Anyway, I digress.

And no, he isn't right. Having the title of mother doesn't give you the God given right to be the be all and all all. It is a privilege that so many don't get to experience, and those who use the title to guilt trip obviously are not secure in their relationship with their offspring.

SlinkyVagabond Mon 23-May-16 23:09:27

Is that a threat ir a promise? I can just imagine some mils of my acquaintance saying that with a nasty smirk. (Not mine, she's dead) Horrible thing to say.

RockMeMomma Mon 23-May-16 23:09:54

hmm That's a rather goady topic for a week night op wink
<grabs popcorn and settles in for the fireworks>

Oliviaerinpope Mon 23-May-16 23:11:33

Most men will prioritise their wife IME.

Aussiebean Mon 23-May-16 23:13:01

So when he had divorced his wife in favour of his mother and she passes when he is 50, he then has 40 lonely years without his love to contemplate how right he was to put his mother first.

PoundingTheStreets Mon 23-May-16 23:15:59

I was going to play devil's advocate and suggest that maybe he simply meant that family love tends to be more unconditional than those of a romantic relationship. We tend to forgive family members for transgressions that are unacceptable in a marriage and can often lead to its end.

Then I read that he doesn't treat his DW with an appropriate level of respect or value her opinions, so I now think he's probably just a twat.

chakachumchom Mon 23-May-16 23:21:00

He could have meant that pounding: He did drop the phrase 'unconditional love' in somewhere.

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