I could just do with some straight talking as I'm not sure that I can't see the woods for the trees.
DD is 4 and she is an absolute delight. She was born at 26+4 as I had pre-eclampsia which developed into HELLP syndrome. It was horrible, I was ignored by doctors and when I was finally taken seriously I had about an hours notice before I had an EMCS. I was gravely ill and could have died.
DD went through hell but is now absolutely perfect.
I have just started counselling, I have struggled with a lot of things but the upshot is I have PTSD from her birth. I feel incredibly guilty and that the stuff she went through was my fault, as a women I should have been able to carry her to term, to breastfeed, to keep her well. Rather than helplessly watching her in a box. Logically I realise there was nothing I can do, it's not my fault, I am having counselling to come to term with these thoughts.
Sorry for the long history, however, the problem I am having is I have tried to speak to DH about these feelings a few times and he shuts me down. I have tried again tonight and it has resulted in him shouting at me. Basically he thinks my feelings undermine him and are 'stupid'. He says if I feel responsible then it writes him out of her history. He feels that me feeling responsible means I am making it all about me which is unfair.
The argument tonight started because he told me he was frustrated this morning and sometimes wished me and DD would 'shut up. I said that was a bit harsh and he said he was expressing a feeling and he had any right to express any feeling he wanted, I said that it was a shame I wasn't allowed the same consideration as he shoots down my feelings about DD's birth. I ended up walking away as he was yelling at me in he garden and neighbours were out next door. Might not have been the best move.
If you got to the end of that, thank you! Am I wrong? What shall I do now?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
DH and I arguing about my feelings
preemiestruggles · 23/05/2016 19:23
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.