I'm hoping to get some advice on a quite complicated situation may be quite long but I want to get it all in.
9years ago my niece was born, my sister was a single teen mum and didn't cope regularly dropped the baby off and left for hours/days the longest 10 days. My mum and I picks up the slack a lot of the time my mum kept dn lots, I babysat while not at work took her places and paid for nursery so she wasn't stuck at home with my sister (I was 20 and single)
I moved out of my mums when my niece was 4 in with dp and had ds i kept up having my niece regularly however had to withdraw lots of financial help didn't go down well but I wasn't working full time and had a house and baby. After my sister decided a pet would give her a reason to get up the pet pee'd and poo'd all over the house my mum tool my niece home and she's been there since so its been 3 years at my mums.
The problem I'm having I that now my mum has custody of dn she gets benefits for her and full parental decisions, I'm still expected to take care of dn on a regular basis, I had to buy bunk beds so she could stay over, if we go a family trip dn comes and if we go on holiday I take dn with me. When it comes to ds my mum takes a hands off approach she says shes already took on one grandchild that enough she grudges having him at all, which is fair enough but ds cant understand why she isn't keep on him coming round or sleeping over since dn is here a lot they don't get why he cant have sleepovers at her house.
I'm having another baby and feel like this has gone on to long now I'm paying for holidays and Xmas and birthdays for a child I have no say in her life, everything we do as a family includes dn but ds is excluded when my mum does holidays/days out. Also my mum spooils dn and i then have to deal with her bad behaviour when she complains to granny about being told off granny says 'auntie Kiki is to strict don't worry. I don't know how to take a step back without making dn feel rejected. My mum says I starter of taking her I cant change now, is she right? Am I being selfish. Its just so much we cant afford to go to Disney land because I cant afford to take 2 kids but my mum is taking dn on holiday so they go we don't go.
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Relationships
complicated family - mum/sister/niece
15 replies
kiki22 · 23/05/2016 17:25
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