Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Feeling smug

(70 Posts)
oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 12:21:09

name changed as outing with previous posts - i now have confirmed proof my ex was shagging a girl in the local when he was trying to make me out to be paranoid/controlling to his family and friends for not being happy with him spending time in said local (more to the story)!

i want to do something with this information however as i am now extremely happy with where my life is going i dont want him to think i am in any way bitter (because im not) i just think he will be embarrassed to know that i know as she is barely 18 (he is in his 30's) and she is like the back end of a bus , so i thought i would share it on here instead! im not actually going to do anything with the information (in fact i would love to high five said bus end for fucking his head up that much i had no choice but to end it)

he is in a relationship and lives with his new girlfriend and he has also been cheating on his girlfriend with this local barmaid/glass collector.

i feel smug because i am so happy with my life, i have an amazing guy in my life who is fab with my children, im buying my dream house and am going on a dream holiday. my ex has mimimal contact with our amazing children (his choice) and he is obviously unhappy in his relationship if he keeps cheating! he spends all his money on the pub.

just wanted to share. hope i dont offend anyone but i needed to get it out of my system that i know and it would just make me look bitter if i confronted him.

seeyounearertime Mon 23-May-16 12:23:03

The best thing you can do is have a happy life without him.
That's the absolute best 'revenge' you can take Imo. People in his life will discover what hes like without you needing to lower yourself.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Mon 23-May-16 12:24:52

I can understand your feelings about your XH, but your 'back end of a bus' comment isn't kind, frankly sad

oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 12:25:45

i know absolutely, its sooooo frustrating that i have this info but i know you are right. i am deliriously happy and it feels good to know he is fucking up his life entirely. shame i wasted 11 years on the bastard smile

seeyounearertime Mon 23-May-16 12:28:10

Well I wouldn't waste another second on him. Move on, forget him, never think of him again.
Every moment you spare him, is a moment lost on something else.

GinaBambino Mon 23-May-16 12:30:01

Ha this could have been written by me! I left DH 3 years ago. As soon as I left, he was calling crying down the phone at me all weekend (left on a Saturday night) by Monday morning he'd moved his bit on the side in to our house; not realised next door neighbour had told me so was quite shocked when I turned up unannounced to pick up my stuff and she was sat in my living room in my dressing gown, drinking tea out of my mug. I will admit i stripped her of dressing gown (later destroyed) and snatched mug off her (still got, bleached before using again; it was my fave mug!) before putting everything I owned in my sister's car and driving off happily never to see him or her again. Apparently this was the girl I'd driven him too (funny as I'd never met her before) and he got engaged a week after our divorce was finalised. I hear rumours about him cheating on her now from mutual friends but I'm happier with DP, new house and expecting our first child.
Nothing bitter about being smug because the dickhead ex is still being a dickhead. Be glad you got rid and have moved on to a better part of your life!

oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 12:36:06

im venting on here as i would never say it to her face (many people would though )! saying she looks like the back end of a bus is quite mild when she slept with my husband (now ex)

yeah its very rare he does creep into my head however i was told this at the weekend and needed to get it out. still in house sale process with him so cant cut ties completely also he asks to see the kids once every 3-6 weeks (randomly with less than 24 hours notice) so still have contact there unfortunatley.

oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 12:39:22

Thanks ginabambino! im happy for you! i so desperately want to embarrass him but i wont. i feel for his girlfriend. they have been together nearly a year!

wafflesplenty Mon 23-May-16 12:42:17

Maybe the back end of a bus comment isn't kind but we are only human & I know I would be lying if I didn't take a bit of pleasure when someone clearly downgrades !

oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 12:46:00

wafflesplenty yeah i'm no instagram model but he has definitely downgraded. grin

GinaBambino Mon 23-May-16 12:49:17

Thanks Olive; I'm happy for you too!
Xh has been with his wife for 3 years. Got engaged after 6 months, married after a year and expecting first baby too (due on my birthday, is it cruel that I'm hoping baby will be on time so he has to remember my birthday forever) and he's definitely cheating. Oh and saying she looks like the back end of the bus is totally mild! But then again we're the crazy ex wives so we aren't allowed opinions on new partners or wives as we're so unreasonable smile
It isn't easy but I wasn't emotionally invested in our relationship when I left so it made it so much easier.
Go us from being better off without them dickhead exh's!

ALaughAMinute Mon 23-May-16 12:51:04

The best revenge is to be happy! Well done you! wine

oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 12:56:19

not at all cruel gina! smile

just a bit of a boast but i have definitely upgraded! my fella has a rippling six pack and that is no exaggeration! he is also the happiest person i have ever met and even without the body i would still be on cloud 9

Costacoffeeplease Mon 23-May-16 13:12:10

You lost me at 'back end of a bus'


oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 13:39:20

so she sleeps with my husband and i'm not allowed to call her the back end of a bus behind her back costa?? i could think of worse things to say honestly, i thought that was quite mild! shes welcome to him to be his side bitch to his girlfriend.

SandyY2K Mon 23-May-16 14:02:54

Good for you OP. I'd have called her a lot more than the back of a bus.

Some men will never stop cheating. It's in their veins.

I'm glad you have a good guy now.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 23-May-16 14:07:22

Your husband cheated on you, she owes you nothing

Calling her the back end of a bus makes you sound more bitter than smug

oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 14:27:18

ha ha not bitter costa!
you are right though she does owe me nothing and im not asking for anything but if i had slept with someones husband i would have expected to be called alot worse! lets just hope it doesnt happen to her in the future. the reason i said it was to give you all a visual and you can understand why i'm laughing at the fact my ex had somewhat downgraded grin

oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 14:27:40

thanks sandy!

ChicRock Mon 23-May-16 14:35:46

For someone so supposedly deliriously happy, you still seem overly invested in your ex and how his life is going, as well as being so gleeful that he's now cheating on his girlfriend who was absolute nothing to do with your break up. It's quite nasty.

kaitlinktm Mon 23-May-16 14:37:29

This talk of downgrading depresses me so.

I am probably completely off the scale (at the lower end) - but that doesn't mean I would have been the sort of person who would cheat with a married man. It is what she is like inside which matters. It doesn't sound as though she is a nice person - but she can't help her looks.

Everything else about your OP I agree with.

SandyY2K Mon 23-May-16 14:43:03

I think every human being owes another some decency actually. Just because you aren't married to them doesn't make it okay. You are participating in their hurt however you look at it.

If everyone had that view the world would be a damn awful place to be. I know decency is a quality that many don't possess unfortunately.

oliveoilandaubergine Mon 23-May-16 15:17:14

chicrock i am deliriously happy thanks and have no issues with his new girlfriend! i dont know what she is like at all and have no bad word to say about her! i feel sorry that he is doing this to her actually.

kaitlin you have missed the point! if she was nice inside she wouldnt be sleeping with somebodys boyfriend/husband???

i am happy he is miserable! he has seen the kids 5 times in a year , i have sorted the house sale and divorce proceedings whilst having a full time job and being a full time mum whilst he has got pissed in the pub. i am smug because i have two beautiful well mannered children and an amazing man in my life who treats me and my children better than i could ever have imagined! oh and did i mention he has the body of a god! wink

notice my main attack is my ex and not the bus from the pub, i honestly couldnt give a shit about her. like i said i would high five her for making me realise what a cunt he is. fact is she does look like a bus

sorry not sorry

Waltermittythesequel Mon 23-May-16 15:21:38

You don't sound deliriously happy. You still sound so embroiled in who looks like what and whose winning the happiness competition!

True happiness is genuinely not giving a shit, IMO.

Feeling smug because your boyfriend has a six pack is...well...a bit childish.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 23-May-16 15:31:13

You sound delightful op

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now