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I need a woman advice please.

(13 Posts)
amindz31 Sat 21-May-16 18:28:20

I am a mature man never married and I am only looking for serious relationship ,I am in love of a woman who I noticed she probably feels the same way towards me for a long time, I asked about her in their culture she will not commit unless the guy is serious about her ,which is Ok ,but the dilemma I am facing , I am afraid to approach her ,as I am not sure what will be her reaction , the problem she is shy and funny enough I am feeling too shy to approach her too, this has never happened to me ,I had a few relationship which were so easy for me ,but this time its different ,I am feeling like a teen-age ,she just keep to make eye contact with me or say hello to me but when I try to chat to het ,she became too red and she cant chat back to me ,please I need some advice, I am just wasting my time or is there something I am missing .

RedMapleLeaf Sat 21-May-16 18:30:55

How have you met her?

RedMapleLeaf Sat 21-May-16 18:31:35

(And out of interest, how did you find Mumsnet?).

amindz31 Sat 21-May-16 18:40:43

A cafe restaurant i go often to have a drink or a meal .

Wasafatmum42 Sat 21-May-16 18:40:52

how old is she ? if she is a middle aged woman like myself do it the old fashioned way flowers and chocolates and suggest coffee it can only go two ways but either way it eliminates the agonising awkwardness .

amindz31 Sat 21-May-16 18:44:51

google search

SandyY2K Sat 21-May-16 18:56:19

Why not ask if she'd like to go out to dinner with you. That's a start.

You have to get to know her before you commit to her regardless of culture, unless the culture only goes for arranged marriages with brief introductions.

amindz31 Sat 21-May-16 19:03:55

Thank for your advice ,i cannot ask her as i am not sure how she will react ,she is too shy ,i tried to chat with her but i couldn't as she was so timid,different culture ,if i try to be persistent with her, she might think i am only after one thing and i really want to get to know her.

Wasafatmum42 Sat 21-May-16 19:09:57

lol omg OP you sound like my exs you sounded serious before, now you are just being abit cowardly so no flowers and chocolates

Cabrinha Sat 21-May-16 19:20:49

English is clearly not your first language - though you write it well enough to be clearly understood. But I wonder if that's why you say you love her?
Do you know that's the wrong word?
You are attracted to her. You don't love her because you don't know her. So firstly, don't be over dramatic - it's attraction, not love.

It sounds like she works in the café you go to. I'd say two choices:

1. Take it very slowly and continue to make a small amount of conversation each time you see her - let it build up naturally and see if her shyness reduces

2. Ask her if she'd like to meet you for a coffee after work one day. You can write it in a small card and pass it to her when you leave one day, if you don't want to put her on the spot, especially at work. I'd put "I've enjoyed the brief chats we've had and I'd like to have time to get to know you better. If you'd like to have a coffee together after your shift one day, I would enjoy meeting you properly". But then act totally normally afterwards, not bringing it up - let her do so.

Summerwalking16 Sat 21-May-16 19:37:48

Cabrinha Yes this is great advice.

RiceCrispieTreats Sat 21-May-16 19:50:04

i cannot ask her as i am not sure how she will react

That is very flawed reasoning. You will never know how she will react unless you ask her.

TheNaze73 Sat 21-May-16 20:09:58

I think the fact that you are looking at a serious relationship may be your issue. Go out and have fun together and see what happens. Just treat it as asking an old friend out

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