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fed up with how he's acting.

(17 Posts)
Feelingsolow12345 Fri 20-May-16 22:27:35

I'm sick and tired of how he acts. he wanted a certain item. I went round three different types shops and none of them had what he wanted so I got an alternative and now I'm in the wrong cause I could have gone to this other shop (where I didn't want to go - long story why) and got it from there. I've already went to three other shops.

then he went he needed to get food on the way back from work as he doesn't want the food we got and I should prepare for him. thing is though I use to do that and he moaned at me cause it's not what he wanted.

I'm then told it's my job as a house wife to keep the house tidy while he's at work. I'm on mat leave and mat leave is to look after the baby not be a house slave.

I've gone upstairs to get away from him I'm close to slapping him (I know I shouldnt) and crying like a loony. I thought he'd be different with me off with the baby but I'm so wrong. he makes out that he helps with everything and the baby but he doesn't, he doesn't get up with the night feeds and when he has a day off he does his thing and if I ask him to feed ds he finds a way where he doesn't have to hold him.

I feel like going to mil tomorrow (I can't stand her that's how bad I want to get away) as he's got the weekend off and don't want no shouting or arguing.

I don't know why I'm writing this. maybe just to rant...

Justmuddlingalong Fri 20-May-16 22:32:34

Is there nobody else you could visit, instead of Mil? Have you a family member or close friend you could visit to get out of the house for a bit?

Feelingsolow12345 Fri 20-May-16 22:37:15

my family live too far away and my close friend is away for 2 weeks

Feelingsolow12345 Fri 20-May-16 23:30:02

I just done him his favourite drink to see if he'll talk to me....nothing....such a child

nicenewdusters Sat 21-May-16 00:03:48

Why are you running around after somebody who is doing nothing for you, and actively making your life more difficult ?

Why are you so desperate to please him, is he trying to make you happy ? It doesn't sound like it.

Feelingsolow12345 Sat 21-May-16 00:13:53

I hate confrontation so if he calms down then I will feel better.

nicenewdusters Sat 21-May-16 10:15:11

I doubt you will feel better, you'll just have avoided an argument.

You said originally that you didn't know why you'd posted. I suspect you probably do. You're fed up with living with a man who treats you so poorly, at a time in your lives when you should be enjoying being new parents.

What exactly are you getting out of this relationship at the moment ?

NickiFury Sat 21-May-16 10:23:00

He's not like a child at all, my children would loving and excited if I made their favourite drink. And they don't order me around as though I am their servant.

He's a nasty bullying arsehole and you should leave him.

What's your practical situation, housing, do you get on with your family etc?

Feelingsolow12345 Sun 22-May-16 00:19:02

he was totally different today, we went out shopping (which he hates) spent time together as a family. he waited hand and foot on me. I was taken back from it all. pulled my chair out when we sat down for our meal. brought me anything I asked for.

what exactly are you getting out of this relationship at the moment?
honestly I don't know. before he treated me like a princess. he then moved jobs and having a little one and it went south. he use to grab me by my hips and pull me into him for cuddles which he doesn't now.

nickifury get on great with family they just live too far away as I don't drive so it's harder for me to get to them.

seventhgonickname Sun 22-May-16 00:40:04

Can you afford driving lessons,will be useful now you have a child and give you a bit of freedom.
Also is it his new job causing the change or that he feeling differently towards you now you are a mother?When did the change start or has he always alternated bullying with treating you like a princess ?

Baconyum Sun 22-May-16 00:49:59

If he's off for the weekend and you need space tell him to go to his mothers!

As for the rest it's partly why my ex an ex. I was a sahm and my ex translated that as 'sits on arse doing nothing all day'!

If he's so fussy about an item he wants to but he can buy it.

Being fussy about food IS childish, either he buys and cooks or he eats what he's given (doesn't sound like what you had in you know he dislikes just he didn't want it that day).

I did consider as a sahm the GENERAL housework was my job but during mat leave (how old is baby? Still fairly young I'm guessing as still on night feeds), you're also recovering from the birth. You're also not getting a full nights sleep, I'm guessing you and baby are first up of a morning too?

So you're 'working' much longer hours than him too!

Honestly nip this in the bud or it'll get worse.

SelfLoathing Sun 22-May-16 01:14:27

try telling him that if he wants domestic service he should pay for it because you aren't signedup to behis servant. if he's that bothered he'll stump up the cash for ahouse keeper..maid.if he can't afford it,not your job ,not your problem.

Feelingsolow12345 Sun 22-May-16 04:38:24

I do have a driving licence just no car and not on the insurance (passed 5 years ago but never got a car - long story). I do think the job has changed him. never like it before.

I did tell him next time you sort it out then you'll have what you want in.

as you can probably guessing. up feeding the baby so I "work" through the night. and yeah I'm always up first too.

I have so told him to pay for a maid to run. after him as I'm not or get your mum to poke after you. not my job.

Baconyum Sun 22-May-16 05:00:47

Good for you, and get a car sorted asap

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 22-May-16 06:09:14

"he wanted a certain item. I went round three different types shops and none of them had what he wanted so I got an alternative and now I'm in the wrong cause I could have gone to this other shop (where I didn't want to go - long story why) and got it from there. I've already went to three other shops. "
See, I'm a bit of a cynic. That looks like a set-up to me. He tells you he wants you to get him something, knowing it can only be got somewhere he knows you won't go. Why? So that he can place you firmly in the wrong. So that you'll feel off-balance, not find it so easy to argue back. That's pretty manipulative.

"before he treated me like a princess. he then moved jobs and having a little one and it went south."
I'm sorry to say, he's following the script of an abuser. (And it is like a script - you'll find plenty of examples of similar behaviour on the Relationships board.) Reel in your target by making them feel loved and the centre of your world. Knock them up and then they're trapped. Then you can stop all that fake behaviour and be yourself, because they're trapped. (Except that you can un-trap yourself.) Oh, but act nice occasionally, preferably in public so you've got witnesses; because that really keeps them under the thumb, not knowing whether to expect Jekkyl or Hyde sad. After a couple of years the target is a shadow of their former selves, but by god they're obedient!

Have a think about those 'long stories' you mentioned in your posts. Why do you not want to go to that other shop? Why did you not get a car? Are the reasons why anything anything at ll to do with him his actions, what he's said?

Costacoffeeplease Sun 22-May-16 06:17:20

He's alternating nice and nasty to keep you on your toes

DO NOT run round after him, I agree the thing he wanted you to buy for him sounds like a set up, that you wouldn't be able to get right

I'd be making plans to leave asap

Feelingsolow12345 Sun 22-May-16 08:34:36

I'm just explaining a bit here. the item he wanted can be brought from another shop beside the one I didn't want to go in. I had already looked in those shops and they didn't have it so the only shop left was the one I didn't like.

and about getting pregnant. I was told I couldn't have kids so we never expected my ds. but I do think he wanted to make me feel bad and pathetic and he's trying to keep me on my toes too

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