To start off, let me say that my husband is a good person and I know that he loves me and the boys....he is just extremely selfish, so seems like he doesn't care most of the time and it is making me progressively more and more miserable.
I am a SAHM to our 3 year old twin boys who are gorgeous but can be a handful at times. My husband works 9-6 most days and will come home and barely speak to me, won't ask me about our day, etc. He is home for about an hour before the boys go to bed, yet he doesn't play with them at all or even speak to them. Sometimes I will go upstairs to get some chores done when he gets home and downstairs will be silent - no talking whatsoever... To say I find his behaviour with the boys strange is an understatement....I feel guilty for them not having a better daddy. 
Most of the time he is to be found in the kitchen googling on his phone or whatever. He will never do anything unless he is asked to do it....and if I didn't do things then quite frankly nothing would get done.
Once the boys are in bed he is in a mad rush to get back downstairs to do something terrible important i.e. watching tv and falling asleep on the sofa. He never wants to spend any time with me unless he wants something 
.
He will go out for the day and tell me he'll be home at a certain time only to turn up two hours late and no explanation, he doesn't even think it matters.
I am becoming increasingly miserable with his lack of effort and selfishness...I have bought it up in the past but nothing changes, so it seems pointless. He just really couldn't care less....he didn't even bother to buy me a Christmas present last year because I mentioned in passing that I didn't need anything .
I just don't know what to do anymore - I'm at a complete loss....
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Relationships
AIBU to be upset and miserable about selfish husband?
Laurajay84 · 20/05/2016 19:06
That's the thing though....if you met him you'd think he was a really nice guy, and he is, but he also would make more effort for a complete stranger than for me
I can relate in some way. I think you need to sit down and be clear about what you need eg quality time. Otherwise in years from now there will no redeeming features of your relationship. There needs to be a little more give on his part.
If he is unwilling or incapable of changing then you perhaps need to consider a future without him in it.
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