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Brand new relationship doomed to fail, is it worth it to enjoy it while I can?

(13 Posts)
MarbleFox Thu 19-May-16 19:44:10

Hi all! I'll try to keep this short and sweet for both our benefits smile
For the sake of this post we'll call the man I'm talking about, "Roger". Both Roger and I are 21, we've known each other for five years and we've always gotten on like a house on fire. We're great friends and I love his company. For the entire time I've known him there's always been a "spark" between us but it's never grown to anything more due to a multitude of reasons. Whether it be teenage shyness, other relationships, personal issues or busy schedules etc. We've recently became somewhat of an item, by recently I mean last week! Everything is great, couldn't be better but here's the problem, I'm moving away in September for university. In my second year of university, I'll be studying abroad which puts even more distance between us. We've talked about it and both agreed neither of us could handle long distance. I know a lot of people will suggest we could make it work but for lots of reasons it's sorta out of the question sad

Roger has said he wants us to remain together until I move, he said he wants us to enjoy the relationship while we still can but I'm unsure. Is the obvious loneliness and pain I'll feel when I need to leave in September worth a three month relationship? I'm leaning towards yes but at the same time I don't want this to dampen my first year at university.

Mtcd9 Thu 19-May-16 20:06:29

No. It's not worth it. Knock it on the head and enjoy your next few years. Loads of time for serious relationship when you finish.

Imbroglio Thu 19-May-16 20:14:39

Maybe part of the attraction is the fact that it has a built-in shelf-life?

I think only you two can decide.

BlueFolly Thu 19-May-16 20:15:46

Going to university is one of the most fun things you'll ever do in your life. In my experience those who left boyfriends behind, or tried to sustain a long distance thing had a serious dampener put on their first year until they cut themselves loose. So not worth it in this instance I think.

FoolMe Thu 19-May-16 20:22:07

Spend the next 3 months having loads of fun with him. Then cut each other adrift when you leave for uni. A life half lived and all that

TheNaze73 Fri 20-May-16 08:15:53

Have the best 3 months, enjoy each others company, go for broke, have a laugh & don't worry about the future. Enjoy the today. Never understood this preoccupation people seem to have with the future anyway

Trills Fri 20-May-16 08:29:22

Totally depends on your personality type.

Would you enjoy a summer together?

Or would you rather not complicate things?

FishWithABicycle Fri 20-May-16 08:35:28

Definitely don't waste your student years in a long distance relationship.
Knock it on the head now, don't stretch it out till September.
You feel very grown-up at 21 but when you are in your 30s you will feel you are a different person, due to the perspective of all the years of experience you will have had by then. He will be too. So, if neither of you have found "the one" by then it might be worth seeing whether that spark is still there - but if it doesn't work out like that don't grieve for it, if it doesn't work out with a few years absence it wouldn't have worked out any other way either.

Piemernator Fri 20-May-16 08:39:37

Finish it now but give Roger a good rogering first.

ladyformation Fri 20-May-16 09:39:48

Have an amazing three months, then end it in September. You'll have plenty to distract you from the sadness when you move away!

Bigem1967 Fri 20-May-16 12:31:27

Easier said than done the ending it bit for some people. I personally would rather not get hooked in the first place.

blindsider Fri 20-May-16 12:52:29

It all depends on how you think you will feel come September.

If bereft don't get involved, if you think the summer will be an emotionally unattached shagathon , go for it.

heron98 Fri 20-May-16 14:29:46

My biggest regret in life is "staying together for the summer" with my first love, whom I got together with a very inconvenient 6 weeks before going to University.

The time came for me to go and we decided we wouldn't split up but would "make it work".

Making it work worked for a while. But it involved a lot of sacarafice, both of us not really settling into our (different) universities, spending time and money to see each other and I never really felt a part of my university as a result.

Long story short, the relationship failed but we were both too scared to admit it, after everything we'd given up. We dragged it out for a while and then he dumped me 3 weeks before the end of University.

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