Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Court ordered contact in hotels ?

(62 Posts)
Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 14:13:49

Has anyone heard of this happening ? Basically ex is living in digs Monday to Friday and wants to take the kids every other weekend to hotel rooms. They are 13,12 and 5. They will refuse to go no matter what the court says, they e been asked about their wishes but not told about this scenario.

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 19-May-16 14:23:35

My ex stayed in hotels for a couple of his first over night contacts due to distance involved. Kids were just happy to see their dad though so might be a different scenario.

Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 14:24:38

Was it ordered by the court that that was acceptable though ? They want to see him they just won't be impressed by the accommodation

Fourormore Thu 19-May-16 14:29:12

Yes I have heard of it happening where there is a large distance between homes. Don't see what the problem is particularly - it's just somewhere to sleep.

Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 14:31:09

Interesting, it's not though is it. If you've ever travelled with work you know the novelty of hotel rooms wears off bloody quickly.

Fourormore Thu 19-May-16 14:33:12

What's the alternative?

Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 14:34:02

He gets a bloody house like normal people earning £50,000 a year

Fourormore Thu 19-May-16 14:39:55

Ok. I don't think a judge is going to order him to get a house.
There's clearly a lot of ill feeling between you and your ex. It's probably just best that you play up the novelty of getting to stay in a hotel, at least in the beginning.

Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 14:42:17

No I'm going to fight it all the way, the judge can't order him to get a house but he can refuse contact over night until he gets one can't he/she

fuzzywuzzy Thu 19-May-16 14:45:54

If the children are safe and happy to see their father, the judge will order contact.

Friends ex has overnight contact with children at hotels as he lives in Scotland and they live in England. For longer contact during school holidays they go up to Scotland to his home.

You won't get far refusing overnight contact be side it's in a hotel, you're being unreasonable. If they're safe with him don't fight it.

NapQueen Thu 19-May-16 14:46:34

I work in a hotel and we have had dad's stay here with their kids regularly as they are out of the country apart from contact etc.

What exactly is your problem with him staying in a hotel with the kids every other weekend?

Fourormore Thu 19-May-16 14:50:27

If you fight it, you're likely to end up looking very unreasonable.

Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 15:33:31

The kids don't want it and are going to write letters to the court saying so. They have homework and friends to see st the weekend they don't want to be in a travel lodge

Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 15:34:39

They want to see him, but in his home and find it pathetic and irresponsible that he doesn't have a home. They don't actually mind where that home is but they just don't want to go to a hotel

Fourormore Thu 19-May-16 15:35:33

Right. I wonder what could be influencing their position hmm
You need to be really careful here. It's not uncommon at all for children to be influenced into writing letters to the judge saying what they do and don't want. You could well find that this backfires on you.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 19-May-16 15:37:04

Is there another reason you don't want contact?

Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 15:39:50

No I actually want him to have 50/50 so I can have a life .... He refused.

Pisssssedofff Thu 19-May-16 15:41:07

It can't back fire on me because if he's awarded more contact than I want he'll crap himself and I will laugh lots and lots and lots .... Unfortunately it would be the kids upset though because he won't take them whether it's awarded or not

Pinkheart5915 Thu 19-May-16 15:44:26

I hope you don't talk about him badly in front of the children and that's not why there writing letters.
They should be able to make there own minds up with out anybody swaying them.

Apart from not liking him is there a reason why you are so against contact? Do you fear the children won't be safe with him for example.

I personally don't see the problem with hotels, the children will be somewhere safe with there Dad. Fighting it without real reason you will look unreasonable

Fourormore Thu 19-May-16 15:45:00

It sounds like the pair of you need to grow up and actually put your children first.

fastdaytears Thu 19-May-16 15:46:38

I'm surprised by your children's strong views on this. Are they really that concerned about trying to do their homework in a Travelodge?

Is there any other reason they're not keen to see their dad?

I can't see contact being refused if he has somewhere safe to stay with them, and a hotel doesn't seem like a bad option to me

blue25 Thu 19-May-16 15:48:34

Surely the most important thing is that they get to see their Dad regularly? Why would children mind if it's in a flat/house/hotel?

babybarrister Thu 19-May-16 15:50:19

courts regularly order contact in hotels

fastdaytears Thu 19-May-16 15:51:36

friends to see st the weekend

In that case it does matter to them where he lives. If he moved miles away they aren't going to see their friends.

CrowyMcCrowFace Thu 19-May-16 15:58:15

I have a similar situation because dc & I moved abroad after twunt ex & I split.

Twunt has them in hotels because if he visits here it's obviously the only solution, & if they visit the UK, it's still hotels because twunt now lives with his mum in her 2 bed terrace.

Twunt & I are no fonder of each other than you & your ex are! But the hotel bit is OK. Boring for the kids, yes, but they like seeing their dad, so suck it up.

They do lots of Disney dad outings.

You really can't obstruct access over this. If the kids dislike the arrangements, they can tell him that - not in your interests to be the arsey one.

Just smile sweetly & let him get on with it. He'll probably get bored with it himself....

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now