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to think DP should get himself up in the morning?

(318 Posts)
EnoughAlready999 Thu 19-May-16 12:23:11

He sets about 3 alarm his phone but turns them all off and goes back to sleep until I come up and say it's 8 / ten past whatever. He then blames me for him being in a rush, calls me rude/ignorant etc. My daughterlikes to be early for school so we leave at 8.25/8.30 but he adds stress to it all by holding us up and sometimes (like this morning) smoking in the car which DD hates (she knows it's illegal too!)

I've told him I will stop talking to him in the morning as its just upsetting. I don't see why I should be spoken to like that. He says he ddoesn't know why I'm like it as though I'm the rude one.

Buy an airhorn and use that to wake him up! Say you wanted to be absolutely sure he'd heard you, so you can't be blamed for him being in a rush!

NannawifeofBaldr Thu 19-May-16 12:28:48

Well he sounds delightful.

Tell him new regime. He gets himself up and if he isn't ready to go with the rest of you he gets himself to work.

Having a daily argue
WMt with your partner which is more appropriate to a stroppy teenager isn't edifying for either of you.

He's an adult, you aren't his Mum.

I'd find this behaviour deeply unattractive.

Arfarfanarf Thu 19-May-16 12:29:34

So he thinks you are responsible for getting him, a grown man in employment, out of bed in a morning?

Tell him that's pathetic.

I can't stand people who won't take personal responsibility.

Try the broken record "I am not responsible for an adult getting up on time"

He should not be calling you names. That is out of order.

Talk to him in the evening, tell him that it is not your job to get him up in the morning and he has to take responsibility for himself. You could suggest he puts his alarm on the other side of the room, so he has to get out of bed for it.

But tbh I'd be saying to him to stop verbally abusing you and stop making you responsible for his faults because it is unacceptable and you won't tolerate it any more.

Is there any way you can just leave without him in the morning? I would.

NapQueen Thu 19-May-16 12:32:48

Get yourself and your daughter up and off to school without him. Why stress out your own day trying to parent a grown adult??

WorraLiberty Thu 19-May-16 12:36:08

How far away is the school?

I'm guessing if you can leave at 8.30am and still be there early, it's also a walkable distance?

sonlypuppyfat Thu 19-May-16 12:36:20

Leave him to be late for work, he'll soon get the idea

ccsays Thu 19-May-16 12:36:49

Why's it your job to get a man child up in the morning? hmm Tell him to google sonic bomb alarm clock. (Or tell him to do one, that works too).

TheNaze73 Thu 19-May-16 12:37:36

Where an action or in this case, a lack of action has no consequence, then nothing will change. Don't be his Mum

Stardust160 Thu 19-May-16 12:38:41

Some people aren't morning people my Mam had to have two or three coffees before she got up( my DF was a sahd) my DH is the same on a weekend but some how manages to get up at half 6.30 every morning x

gamerchick Thu 19-May-16 12:39:14

Do you need him to get out on a morning? Maybe just see to yourselves and leave him to it?

HackerFucker22 Thu 19-May-16 12:41:11

I assume he smokes in the car as you drop him to work after dropping your DD?

WorraLiberty Thu 19-May-16 12:45:52

You don't need to be a 'morning person', to put your feet on the floor when your alarm goes off for work.

You just need to be an adult.

MrsBed2b Thu 19-May-16 12:52:44

Sounds like you have a teenager not a DH.

The smoking is the bigger issue for me. Not only is it illegal she shouldn't have to suffer his second hand smoke!

EnoughAlready999 Thu 19-May-16 12:55:15

School is 10-15 mins drive away, gate opens at 8.40 so DD likes to be there for that. We drop him on the way so no Hacker he smokes in the car with DD. That doesn't usually happen, think he did it today to piss me off just a little bit more.

And don't give me the "he's not a morning person" shite. Neither am I but I get up with DD every single fucking morning, ill/pregnant/depressed/whatever. I think he's quite lucky that he doesn't have to get up til 8. I'd love to know what time most other fathers get up - please tell!

Smoothyloopy Thu 19-May-16 12:58:11

Leave him in bed & go without him.

AllTheUsernamesAreTaken3 Thu 19-May-16 12:58:24

I don't mean to sound harsh, but why on earth do you put up with this? Why do you let him speak to you like that, openly flout the law and subject your daughter to second-hand smoking?

What's he like the rest of the time?

EnoughAlready999 Thu 19-May-16 13:01:38

He's an arsehole most of the time especially now I'm pregnant.

Worra school is 2.3 miles away so a bit far to walk.

Mookbark Thu 19-May-16 13:01:58

He sounds more like a teenager than a grown man. I refuse to have the responsibility for waking anyone up from secondary school age onwards. It took DS1 a while to understand this, but now both he and DS2 are quite independent in the morning. They also know that if they want a lift to school, if they aren't in the car when I am ready to go, I will go without them (actually, I do give them 30 seconds or so of leeway).
I would treat him like the teeenager he is acting like.
FWIW, my DH got up at 3.30am this morning and, no, I didn't need to wake him. and more importantly, he didn't wake me

Mookbark Thu 19-May-16 13:03:18

shock He smoked in a car that contained not only a child, but also a pregnant woman!

TheUnsullied Thu 19-May-16 13:04:13

WTF? confused

Just leave him where he is if he's ignoring his alarms. His boss will soon make him aware that he's responsible for getting himself to work.

And the smoking in the car thing...he wouldn't still be in the car if he'd lit up with my daughter in there.

Your DP sounds like a teenager.

Pedestriana Thu 19-May-16 13:04:27

I get up around 7.20 and get DD up if she's not already awake. I make myself and DH a cup of tea, and take his up. I feed the cat, feed DD, make sure she has her uniform, and do her hair (She's 5). DH gets up about 8.10, gets showered, dressed and takes her to school.

AugustaFinkNottle Thu 19-May-16 13:05:07

Get him a louder alarm clock, set it for 7.30. Call him at 7.45 and just tell him that that's his last call, if he isn't ready by 8.30 you're going without him. And tell him if he ever smokes in the car with DD you'll be going without him anyway.

KellyElly Thu 19-May-16 13:05:35

Drive you DD to school and leave him to make his own way to work.

gamerchick Thu 19-May-16 13:05:43

So him going to work depends on your good will? Tell him it's ran out and if he's not ready to go when you are you're going without him.

As for the smoking, stop the car and both you and the bairn get out and wait for him to finish. He's the one that'll feel like a tit sitting there.

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