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If your bf previously had really attractive partners..**title edited by MNHQ**

(55 Posts)
Getit Wed 18-May-16 13:13:10

Does it bother you?

Getit Wed 18-May-16 13:17:54

Im curious btw as it bothers me.

atigerinmytank Wed 18-May-16 13:18:19

I tease DH about his history of tall blonde ice-maidens from Scandinavia ....

And now he is married to a short dumpy half Jewish ginger goth ...whom he adores..

I do wonder why me and I put myself down a lot - cos I am a bit daft

digitbox Wed 18-May-16 13:19:30

why are you asking?

they are an ex for a reason.

but to answer your question, yes in the very early days, i felt a bit insecure versus previous partner because while i know im more attractive facially, i could see for myself she had a more attractive hourglass shape even though we are roughly the same size.

10 years later - no!

JustABigBearAlan Wed 18-May-16 13:21:40

Yes, it would bother me because I can be a bit insecure too. Saying that I don't even know what dh's previous girlfriends looked like! Do you know his exes or have you seen photos?

BillBrysonsBeard Wed 18-May-16 13:22:50

In the first year I did but not the previous 7 smile It was just a case of getting more secure with the relationship. It helps that he is always telling me I'm beautiful and never compares us.

BillBrysonsBeard Wed 18-May-16 13:23:28

it*

Getit Wed 18-May-16 13:23:34

I did a bit of online snooping so have seen quite a few photos of them.
It's my own fault for being nosey i know but i feel like shit now.

Getit Wed 18-May-16 13:26:11

All manes of hair and boobs
I have neither

digitbox Wed 18-May-16 13:26:42

dont feel like shit, i questioned my dh when we met about his "type". i thought you were going to tell us his ex was rachel stevens or something!

digitbox Wed 18-May-16 13:28:18

well, they obviously finds you very attractive! dont let your insecurity spoil this for you!

VioletSunshine Wed 18-May-16 13:39:27

Only when xp went on about how attractive the women he used to date were, how attractive other women are, how I wasn't his usual type (blonde), or how his ex had told him I didn't look like much...

JustABigBearAlan Wed 18-May-16 13:41:19

Violet shock

I'm glad he's your ex

YorkieDorkie Wed 18-May-16 13:42:53

You put your best picture on social media! I look awesome on my FB profile and right now the crows wouldn't ask me out grin. Don't be fooled by the image people want you to have of them. He's with you, and not with them, for a reason.

willconcern Wed 18-May-16 13:48:04

Think of it another way OP.

I am more attractive than my ex's current DP (not being boasty, honestly, I've been told this by dozens of people, and can see it for myself). I wonder what was wrong with me to make him fancy her more. I think it must be personality - which would you rather have, a great personality or a more attractive face/figure?

So there can be insecurities either way.

Aquiver Wed 18-May-16 13:57:13

Agree - there is a reason that these other women are exes for a reason. Plus, remember that we all tend to put our best images on Facebook (so take any pics from online snooping with a pinch of salt!) smile

Don't pick away at yourself or devote any more time thinking about his exes.

Also - and I don't mean this to sound patronising - don't nitpick your OH about his exes either. I have seen that situation turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy (where a (former) friend basically henpecked her BF asking him all the time about his stunning exes and why her etc - in the end he couldn't stand the envy and left, and she's now bitter and single saying "see, I wasn't his type after all" - a real shame).

Getit Wed 18-May-16 14:17:11

I dont intend to hassle bf about his exes but at some point i may cross paths with the mother of his dc.
She is everything im not sad even my dc say how pretty she is.

VioletSunshine Wed 18-May-16 14:20:31

I'm glad he's your ex
Thanks, me too smile

OP, front-facing cameras these days have a soften mode. It makes people look ever so attractive when taking selfies, plus there's plenty of apps and programs to modify photos to hide blemishes etc. I'd take these pictures of his exes with a grain of salt.

MagicMoonstone Wed 18-May-16 14:22:06

My OH is stunning. But was a bitch.

I'm short, built like a roly poly but I'm not a bitch. I'm actually quite kind.

I do get horrendously insecure though.

MagicMoonstone Wed 18-May-16 14:22:59

I meant OH XW

digitbox Wed 18-May-16 14:23:12

but it still didnt keep them together!

please dont feel insecure. my dh's girlfriend was blond, booby but slim and very outgoing/popular with people. that's not me at all, in fact im totally the opposite.

im sure you have lovely features too. have your dcs just seen her for the first time? how?

(getting invested in this because i know how you feel)

mickyblueyes Wed 18-May-16 14:24:27

From a man's perspective...we are extremely primitive creatures who usually base everything on looks, boobs, legs etc...I admit to that my self and I have learnt that you need to look a whole lot deeper to truly fall in love, respect and be happy with someone.

My ex was i suppose 'Attractive' as you describe, trust me that when people use the old cliche 'beauty is only skin deep' it usually is. Beneath all the zhuzz there was a self obsessed, attention seeking, manipulative, cheating liar.

Your man is probably with you because maybe you respect him as he respects you, he likes being with you for who you are and he, like me has seen what it takes to be happy...and that isn't having a 'Trophy wife'

Be happy!

unexpsoc Wed 18-May-16 14:29:17

Or, and think about this carefully, maybe you are really bloody attractive to him.

And that your narrow definition of attractive (which I find for some reason for everyone excludes themselves) needs to be adjusted.

There is a massive space for you to play into here where you sabotage your relationship because of your own insecurities. Perhaps ask your partner if you are attractive?

pocketsaviour Wed 18-May-16 14:31:44

Well done micky, you managed to hit a whole host of outdated stereotypes in one post.

From a man's perspective...we are extremely primitive creatures who usually base everything on looks, boobs, legs etc

What a depressingly low opinion you have of your own sex.

Getit Wed 18-May-16 14:41:00

My dc have been shown photos by bf dc.

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