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Am I bad to not listen to this friend anymore?

(18 Posts)
SoThatHappened Wed 18-May-16 10:50:41

She has got back together with her bf for about the 3rd to 4th time.

He has broken their engagement, left her, got back with her, left her again, she got pregnant he coerced her into an abortion saying they'd stay together after and he left again.

She got him back as fwb and now theyre official.

She wants to marry and have a family and she is mid thirties.

She is over the moon...

Gives me hard criticism about my relationships and wont take it about hers...

I havent replied to her message saying she is back with him.

Am I right to just leave her to it? I dont want to engage her about him at all.

Arfarfanarf Wed 18-May-16 10:54:27

I would text her back. It's the mature thing to do. Something along the lines of "I'm glad that you are happy. I wish you well." or some other vague thing. Ignoring it will just end in drama llama ing as you are deemed to be unsupportive of her true love hmm

I would also tell her to stfu next time she criticised my relationship. She has no right to do that, particularly since she wants to hear no word about her own. I'd be pointing that one out!

MrsJayy Wed 18-May-16 10:57:49

Yes I think a vague text of how you are glad she is happy is the way to go some folk can be really draining though their lives are exhausting.

MagicMoonstone Wed 18-May-16 11:00:18

I agree.

Wish her well and hope it doesn't all go Tits up for her smile

nicenewdusters Wed 18-May-16 11:17:03

Normally I'd go with the polite but unenthusiastic reply. However, given her attitude to your relationships I think I'd just ignore it. She sounds like a p.i.t.a. If she challenges you later just say you thought it best to say nothing, as her relationship is so changeable you feel it's best not to comment.

QueenofallIsee Wed 18-May-16 11:24:27

I couldn't be arsed with the drama, so I would be saying 'I am glad for you, if you are happy' and then cutting her loose. I wouldn't be able to stand by and watch that again

SoThatHappened Wed 18-May-16 11:33:46

I would also tell her to stfu next time she criticised my relationship. She has no right to do that, particularly since she wants to hear no word about her own. I'd be pointing that one out!

Ive pointed it out already....she says hers is different....yeah we both got strung up with lying using cheating time wasting twats.

She claims to know what she is doing.

Last time i mentioned my ex she said i am not engaging you in this anymore.....hmm.

nicenewdusters Wed 18-May-16 11:44:43

Having read your last post OP I think your final line about not engaging anymore should be your text response.

"Received your text. I am not going to engage with you about your relationship anymore. Goodbye".

SoThatHappened Wed 18-May-16 12:20:21

I should but she'll write back and be catty she has an answer for everything.

My ex was a monumental twunt however even he didnt break engagements, push for abortions etc.

If i reply i may just reply to the other stuff and completely ignore the guy stuff.

Arfarfanarf Wed 18-May-16 12:26:52

why are you her friend?

She doesn't sound very nice.

InaMay Wed 18-May-16 12:32:09

Friends should be there to listen, advise and support when required. Neither of you are willing/able to do this for eachother it seems. I would question if you are friends at all.

SoThatHappened Wed 18-May-16 13:36:24

She used to be really nice and supportivr and still can be with things like work.

But in relationships she is a hypocrite.

Maybe she still thinks this guy will marry her.

TheNaze73 Wed 18-May-16 14:53:55

Sorry, she just sounds like a wrong un'. What value do you actually get from the friendship?

StarkyTheDirewolf Wed 18-May-16 16:48:42

I had a friend like this, it was utterly draining. We don't speak anymore. I still get grapevine updates and it's two years on and nothing has changed there.

DraughtyWindow Wed 18-May-16 18:06:28

Remind her of that comment she made! As others have suggested, best to be polite and perhaps just say, 'Just want you to be happy, but remember what you said to me... (Insert whatever). Cuts both ways'. And leave it at that.
Time to remove yourself from friendships that are one-sided. grin

SoThatHappened Wed 18-May-16 19:34:56

I may just leave it.

Her first break up was around 2012, second around 2013, third around 2014, fwb most of 2015 and then she says...

We're officially back together hahahahaha

I see no mirth in that. I'll wait for the fourth break up.

P1nkP0ppy Wed 18-May-16 19:40:35

I'd reply 'Fourth time lucky?' 😕

SoThatHappened Wed 18-May-16 20:51:36

It may be the fifth. There is probably stuff I dont know about.

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