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just feel like rubbish(6 Posts)
just want to say this is going to be long, sorry in advance. I'm trying to sort out my sons christening. I told my MIL that I've got to wait and see if any other members can come as we've already got about 35 coming and we want to invite friends too.
fast forward to today and a lot happened in one night (I'll stick with the christening insident first). mil went to dp and said we need to invite x to the christening and and DP went OK. I don't know if she done that on purpose and not come to me but DP said it's because it's his family not mine so he should of been asked. I think it's because I told her no more and she thought if she came to me ill say no. tbf x should come as they are close to the family. I said to dp well that's bringing more people. we've already got like 10 people coming who are distant relatives who you don't speak to and who your mum wants there. his response was it's a time to celebrate our son, I went yes with family and friends you are close to not any Tom dick and harry who are second cousins you never see. I just turned round to him and said fine invite whatever family you want let's make it a family get together not a celebration.
now for the rest...
mil has every other Wednesday off. last Sunday she mentioned "if you want any help or want to go out let me know" I replied "I'll see how I feel and what I'm doing. If I want to go anywhere I'll ask you" today dp went to mil behind my back "we don't see much I'm sure she gets bored at home" she replied "well I did ask if she wanted to go out on wednesday last sunday" dp "well did you ask her on wednesday" mil "no but I told her Sunday she could talk to me" dp "well if she wanted to go out then she would have" mil "well it's her own fault she's bored then"
ds was screaming as he was restless and tired as he wasn't in his cot for his sleep. so I lay him on the armchair and tried to get him to fall asleep. I give him a bottle to sooth him and mil comes over and knocks the bottle out of my hand and says out loud you look like you're struggling I'll take over and pushes me out the way. while I was with him he stopped crying the minute she took over he started again.
once we got back I told dp all this and he went "I hate all this confrontation, why don't we just never go again". now I feel bad and I feel like I'm being made to feel bad...I'm probably wrong and DP and mil are right and I'm just being a moody old hag but it's just got to me. I'm sitting on the sofa wrapped up in my blanket trying not to cry.
thank you for all of you who have gotten this far.
Can't make head or tail of the first bit. Who gives a flying fuck who comes to the christening, unless you're paying for X per head for a sit down meal or something?
mil comes over and knocks the bottle out of my hand and says out loud you look like you're struggling I'll take over and pushes me out the way.
OK so next time, chin the bitch. You don't put up with being pushed and shoved in front of your child. OK don't chin her, call the police instead, it's assault.
I told dp all this and he went "I hate all this confrontation, why don't we just never go again"
Well that sounds like a result, seeing as it seems like neither of you like MIL, and she's been physically abusive to you...
Hmmmmmn does actually sound like you are overreacting a bit. You say yourself that x should be invited so you're way off there me thinks.
Also she did offer to help but you gave some teenager comment about you'll see how you feel which does seem ungracious.
Sorry but you sound spoilt and controlling.
the pub is only small and can only fit about 40-50 people when there's no food there so imagine tables full of food then everyone on top of it. I'm probably just being selfish when it comes to people as I want it to be only close friends and family.
wish I could call the police on her or have no contact with her but DP and ds need to have contact with her and I love my fil he's amazing. I take my hat off for putting up with her for so long.
DP won't stop seeing her, it was an open threat.
also I forgot to add, fil had ds and he wouldn't stop crying. I was getting up to sort him out and she literally pounced off her seat to get to ds and fil before I could.
I know I sound ungrateful but I have my reasons why I say I'll see how I feel. if I've had a bad night with ds, he's not very well has to keep going hospital, he normally catches up on his sleep during the day and so do I. also when she means "help" it means I'll take over, I'll push you away from the pushchair if we go out and you do all the heavy lifting and pushing the trolly.
and I'm far from controlling. if anything I'm the total opposite. I get walked over all the while.
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