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Anyone else the peace keeper?

(3 Posts)
knowitneedstochange Tue 17-May-16 14:57:59

Not sure what I hope to gain, but need to talk it out.
My DH is often angry - whether passive aggressive sulking, stroppy, sarcastic, or frustrated. It is never violent, but it is aggressive, sometimes with swearing and storming off.
I knew this when I married him, but saw little of it - now it is more regular.
I have 2 older children from a previous relationship, and a 18 month old with my DH - his mood is noticeably less patient when the older 2 are home, something he would deny.
I find that I am constantly acting as peace keeper - mediating between children and husband, because he is impatient with them, sarcastic and just generally cross.
I also do this between him and my MIL - he is very rude to her, something I have pointed out on several occasions. He used to admit he had been mean, apologise and try harder, however he now maintains she is over sensitive and he hasn't done anything wrong.
I am using all of my energy trying to ensure his every day grumpiness doesn't consume me and my children, and I am very tired. Things are swiftly coming to a head, and I know I can't change him - he has to change him.
Has anyone gone through this and come out of the other side? When not grumpy, he is generous, funny and I love him very much; however I have to think of my children and the home they are growing up in, as well as the examples they are being shown.

gingerbreadmanm Tue 17-May-16 15:00:32

Oh dear that does not sound nice at all.

I'm generally the peace keeper in my relationship and its no fun and theres no kids involved.

Not really got any advice except the obvious but just wanted to say i kind of understand.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 17-May-16 15:09:50

No matter how funny or generous he can be, or how much you love him, the welfare and wellbeing of your dc has to be paramount and I suggest you make it a dealbreaker that he lives elsewhere while he attends an anger management course, otherwise you'll file for divorce citing his unreasonable behaviour.

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