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Feel Trapped

(3 Posts)
plotmissinginaction Sun 15-May-16 14:59:34

I've been married for 14 years. We have two children 8 and 5. I became unwell a couple of years ago, lots of tests and eventually told I had chronic fatigue and they could do nothing for me. I stopped working. I couldn't manage it anymore. I get by most days with mild symptoms, some pain, tiredness, sickness. If I do too much I can have a flair up, but if I rest while kids are at school then I can handle school run/homework etc. I also teach a couple of local classes privately but it doesn't bring much money in.

Husband has always been a bit of a bully. Prone to name calling. Gets into these awful moods and tells me I'm useless and to just get a job. He knows my big fear is being back at work unwell, it was awful pushing through days when I was sick and in pain. But now I am not making money and it's this awful tension between us. He resents me for it and doesn't understand that I spend most days feeling like shit.

When I think about leaving I just can't see how. We live in a rural area, I have applied for a few part time jobs in my field but failed to get them. They don't come up often. I really don't think I would survive teaching. We own the house together. It's my childhood home.

I'm tired and sore and I think depressed and I just don't know how to make a change without it costing my health for good. But I will be forty this year and I don't want to spend the rest of my life being bullied and afraid in my own home. I feel exactly what he calls me, useless.

No one to talk to in real life. Everybody loves him. And I understand why, he's great with everyone. Just not me.

Grapesandbananas Sun 15-May-16 16:25:00

You sound really down OP - understandably.

A listening ear might help. Call the Samaritans, maybe? They are trained helping you work out solutions

I'm sure you'll find some anwers. Good luck!

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 15-May-16 16:31:47

Or the citizens advice bureau. You need practical advice to leave. It sounds like you have to leave - he sounds appalling. No one should have to live with that.

You will probably have to sell your childhood home but that is a small price to pay for happiness and your own right to be respected and calm in your own space. That house isn't making you happy so don't let that stopper your bid to make changes.

Good luck flowers

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