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How do I "get over" a gay man

(13 Posts)
TrafficJunkie Sun 15-May-16 02:15:21

There's a guy I work with. I thought he was really attractive when we first met. There even seemed to be a spark between us. We got on like a house on fire from day one. I later, and not much later, learned that he's gay and in a relationship.
So how do I stop feeling so....enamoured around him? It's very difficult. He's very flirty and touchy - obviously just feels comfortable I suppose because he's gay and knows it doesn't imply anything - but for me it's quite difficult! We make eye contact all the time, he's always looking in my direction, touches my arm or does small playful things, stands around to make conversation.....I enjoy it mostly but I always feel a little sad at the end of the day because I know it's nothing.

So my question is, what does a person do to stop letting the flirts mean more than they do? Does that make sense? I know myself and I'll end up being some Romeo to Rosaline....

Saltfish Sun 15-May-16 02:34:06

He's gay. Remember that. The flirting won't mean half of what it'll mean to you.

I'm lesbian and men seem to always think I'm flirting with them. I'm really really not. Don't read too much into it.

TrafficJunkie Sun 15-May-16 02:37:47

That's the thing - I don't want to now that I know. But I don't know HOW to not read too much into it!

TrafficJunkie Sun 15-May-16 02:53:37

Of course I could be reading it all wrong 😂

Saltfish Sun 15-May-16 02:55:45

Avoid him for a bit? If that's possible? He sounds very flirty in nature so probably likes the attention. Do you think this could be a passing crush?

TrafficJunkie Sun 15-May-16 03:03:21

I hope so saltfish

So perhaps if I don't respond much to the flirting he will stop doing it do you think? Or whatever it is.

lateforeverything Sun 15-May-16 03:12:41

I don't think he'd necessarily stop... he might go to further lengths to shock/get a reaction from you... hmm

TrafficJunkie Sun 15-May-16 03:14:28

Oh wonderful! lateforeverything maybe I should beat him to the post and go all out first. Maybe that'll make him stop!!

lateforeverything Sun 15-May-16 03:37:26

Yeah if you can block off your feelings then go ahead and play the game. wink

RiceCrispieTreats Sun 15-May-16 04:33:57

I think if it's difficult for you to be around someone, then you need to see that person less.

KittyWindbag Sun 15-May-16 05:03:44

Some people are just natural flirts, it's part of their character. I have a friend who flirts with everyone, male or female.

If you get on with this guy and think you could have a friendship with him, why not invite him and and his partner for casual after-work drinks. Seeing him in the context of his relationship might help you to recalibrate the situation. Suddenly avoiding him might be a bit hard, if you work together.

TrafficJunkie Sun 15-May-16 08:11:47

kitty that's a good idea actually! That'll probably work a treat.

harrisntasha Sun 15-May-16 16:35:00

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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