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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Who is in the wrong?

21 replies

nonladyofleisure · 14/05/2016 21:41

Person a) had had a very bad day at work and it is their birthday this week.

Person a) wants very much to go away with person b)

Person b) can't afford to go away abroad

Person b) suggested a few things to do

Person a) said that sounds nice, and do this after?

Person b) said yes

Person a) said ok

Person b) went ahead and booked

Person a) wasn't happy that it wasn't finalised

Person b) says that person a) is ungrateful

There has been an argument.

Is person a) ungrateful or should person b) not have booked without checking further?

OP posts:

Report

PurpleDaisies · 14/05/2016 21:44

Is person a unhappy that something has been booked it that it hasn't?

HeddaGarbled · 14/05/2016 21:47

Person a is both ungrateful and a very poor communicator.

However, person b should not have accused person a of being ungrateful because that just escalated the argument.

BubsAndMoo · 14/05/2016 21:49

Eh? What was booked and what wasn't finalised?

goddessofsmallthings · 14/05/2016 21:51

It's hard to make head or tail of this, but in essence it appears that person a) was a tad peed off that person b) couldn't afford to go abroad to celebrate a's birthday but was approving of b's alternative suggestions, whereupon b booked one of them after a had given it the "ok".

If that's the case why is a peed off again? What did want do "after" and what isn't "finalised"?

goddessofsmallthings · 14/05/2016 21:52

what did a want to do "after"

scandichick · 14/05/2016 21:57

If person a is annoyed because they're not getting the full deal that was initially agreed, they're not being unreasonable. The post makes it sound as if they're annoyed with something they previously agreed to, which would make them a bit of a dick.

LogicalThinking · 14/05/2016 22:38

Both are being unreasonable.
Poor communication and blaming each other as a result.

WhatTheActualFugg · 14/05/2016 22:44

I have no idea what you're on about op. Any chance of some clarification?

nonladyofleisure · 14/05/2016 22:52

Sorry....

Lol...

Person a) wasn't happy that the decision wasn't finalised.

This was the conversation

Are we staying away for 1 night or 2?

Don't mind ####

####how do you feel about going to London and watching comedy, having a meal and going clubbing after if you fancy it?

Ok and staying after?

Yes, have a look at hotels , in Leicester Square I'll pay for the show thing that's my present to you.

Ok. xxxxx

OP posts:

DoreenLethal · 14/05/2016 22:53

Why not just say what happened? Save alot of time.

nonladyofleisure · 14/05/2016 22:53

There was some more ok's after.....

OP posts:

APlaceOnTheCouch · 14/05/2016 22:55

Person a is ungrateful.

WhatTheActualFugg · 14/05/2016 23:01

I don't understand why A is upset.

Upset that B booked a show after an 'OK' agreement feeling that it hadn't been throughly agreed?

BubsAndMoo · 14/05/2016 23:01

Are you saying that your partner arranged a night in London for you a

BubsAndMoo · 14/05/2016 23:03

Oops pressed send

Are you saying one person arranged a night in London for the others birthday and for some reason the birthday person is pissed off?

Sorry you'll have to explain better, right now YABU for posting an unclear situation and presumably hoping we'll back your side

nonladyofleisure · 14/05/2016 23:06

In case you haven't guessed I'm person b) the comedy club and dinner only cost £60 so that was something I could afford. It was my way of saying here's me putting in effort for your birthday as I feel bad that we both wanted to do something special I thought the replies meant yes this would be something to do, ( we've been faffing for weeks!) and I told him to book the hotel and when I got paid I would pay him back as I feel that I should treat as its his birthday...

I don't think I used the word ungrateful I've deleted the conversation.

It's half sorted if anyone cares lol apparently he's happy with anything and doesn't want me spending money I can't afford lol xx

OP posts:

nonladyofleisure · 14/05/2016 23:08

I was more pissed off with being deliberately abrupt with why did you book it? I'm more of a nod and agree oh that sounds great whether I liked it or not d

OP posts:

WhatTheActualFugg · 14/05/2016 23:09

It's half sorted

Well thank fuck for that!

nonladyofleisure · 14/05/2016 23:10

OP posts:

BubsAndMoo · 14/05/2016 23:12

You realise that none of us were there when these conversations took place, so we really don't know what you're referring to with most of what you're saying, unless you actually tell us?

Good to hear that it's sorted though, hope you enjoy your evening in London. If that is indeed what you're doing

If your communication within your relationship is along the same lines as your posting style, then that may be the root of the issue here!

nonladyofleisure · 14/05/2016 23:13

Possibly... :) I hate sorting things by text X

OP posts:

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