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Stealing a baby name

(47 Posts)
needfemaleadvice Fri 13-May-16 15:57:38

I'm absolutely livid. I've had a call from a friend saying that a friend lets call her 'sarah (name changed for privacy)' has decided to call her baby my baby name.

Before you all think I'm being overdramatic.... no one else in the world has this name as far as I know and I've had it chosen as my baby name since I was 14. 'Sarah' didn't even tell me she was considering it. I've made my close friends who know to promise they would never use it when I was 16 so I am hurt. I know not every chooses baby names this way but I always dreamed of a baby girl called..... so it's a little heartbreaking to hear that someone I considered close may take something that I wanted so badly. The name is two words in two different languages combined. DH agreed that if we did have a daughter when we're ready... it would be the name.

needfemaleadvice Fri 13-May-16 15:59:03

This is not to mention the fact that I bought her an overly expensive baby shower gift which is in a weeks time.

sidewindersleepstonight Fri 13-May-16 15:59:10

This sounds rather like an episode of sex and the city where Charlotte gets upset about her baby name being 'stolen'.

No one person owns a name.

MessyBun247 Fri 13-May-16 15:59:41

Take it as a compliment! I don't think it's worth getting so annoyed over.

Wolfiefan Fri 13-May-16 16:00:50

Are you even pregnant

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 13-May-16 16:01:33

You may not have a daughter. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

PotteringAlong Fri 13-May-16 16:02:28

So you're not pregnant and someone is using a name you made them swear at 16 they wouldn't use? Are you still 16?

LidikaLikes Fri 13-May-16 16:03:13

Please please please tell us the name!

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Fri 13-May-16 16:06:01


So you don't have a baby? They stole the name from a nonexistent baby?


expatinscotland Fri 13-May-16 16:06:21

Erm, you need to chill out. No one owns a name. I'd never heard of anyone called Beyonce until Beyonce Knowles got famous. Now lots of people are called that. You got people to promise not to use it when they were 16?! I would have thought you were nuts.

pippistrelle Fri 13-May-16 16:06:33

Is Sarah one of the people who promised not to use if when you were 16? Assuming that was a number of years ago, presumably she's just forgotten that bit, - as it was more important to you than it was to her: people don't remember every word they say, let alone what someone else says) but remembered that she liked the name.

DaveCamoron Fri 13-May-16 16:09:55

You don't own a name and I find it hard to believe that nobody else in the world hasn't used it.

Mamabear1980 Fri 13-May-16 16:10:18

It isn't that uncommon the have a name already chosen but the ones I've known all had it stolen by 'friends' before they could use it. One used it anyway but the other friend did move away. Surprisingly they were that close after the event anyway.

JonSnowsBeardClippings Fri 13-May-16 16:11:05

Is the name Shayla? If so, she's done you a favour.
Seriously, if you had such an amazing unique name you shouldn't have told people. You can't copyright a baby name.

NeedACleverNN Fri 13-May-16 16:14:19

Yeah I seriously doubt no one else has the name...unless it's so terrible that no one in their right mind would ever consider it

She's got baby brain so is excused from thinking it's terrible

Leviticus Fri 13-May-16 16:14:26

I thought of SATC too!

When my friend was pregnant she was taken aside by another (not pregnant) friend and told in no uncertain terms that she must not call her baby Ivy because that was her baby name. Ridiculous!

I can understand why you'd be annoyed but you can't say it.

Leviticus Fri 13-May-16 16:14:59


kardashianklone Fri 13-May-16 16:17:50

What are you, still 14? You don't own a name. Don't be so ridiculous. What happens if you named your non existent baby that precious name, and then, in kindergarten, or prep school or college, you meet other children with the same name. Would you go and tell the parents to change the name? Of course not. The cost of the gift you (chose) to buy your friend has nothing to do with the naming of the child. Don't be so petty and, quite frankly, grow up. You are wasting a lot of energy being 'absolutely livid'. Ludicrous, woman.

needfemaleadvice Fri 13-May-16 16:18:22

I think recently I've been so depressed. I've had a career change in the twenties and studying in a different field to qualify. Hubby is great but I feel so lonely and out of my depth I guess just from the first few posts it seems I shouldn't act like this. I feel so compressed by life at the moment and the slightest thing gets me either angry or hurtful. He's away until 8 or 10 on most week nights and tired in the weekend.

Sidewinder- never watched Sex and city- I was too young when it was aired but I watched the movie if that helps and that wasn't part of the movie story?

Before the career change we did try to get pregnant but it didn't happen. As it wasn't a burning priority at the time we thought lets let it happen naturally.

My relationship with my mother was never great and I always wanted a daughter I think because of that- to prove that I can be a mother I overemphasize everything. I haven't seen my good friends recently and I do feel unhappy in my situation. At the same time I know plenty of women have real problems compared to what I'm going through. I think I'm a little sad that my friend didn't choose to even call me because I'm over the moon for her having a baby girl.

I shouldn't have made it into something on mn as a cuppa just helped me calm down.

Mslg Fri 13-May-16 16:18:32

This should be in AIBU.

Are you even pregnant? I think you're being a little bit ridiculous here, as PP have said you can't copyright a name.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 13-May-16 16:22:15

I want to know what the name is. I'm using the word "name" very loosely as I guess it just a collection of letters put together randomly.

LittleMissBossyBoots Fri 13-May-16 16:23:05

We need to know the name.

needfemaleadvice Fri 13-May-16 16:24:06

My friendship means more and now that I know the name I can put something a bit more meaningful in the card I guess.

@lidika. I'm not going to say and I feel rather stupid now. When ever I discuss these things I should stick to the rule of: Theres always someone who knows someone who knows the person I'm talking about... It is a beautiful name but I'm going back to studying now- enough wasted time on this.

I guess it just reminds of the fact that all my friends are now in high powered careers or are sahms. The two things I always thought I would achieve before 30 and now its further apart.

NeedACleverNN Fri 13-May-16 16:24:14

Yes what's the name??

Is Heejkxn pronounced Ay-Boo?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 13-May-16 16:25:24

My vote's on Jaccobina.

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