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Jellyfish friend

(10 Posts)
Fourfifthsof Fri 13-May-16 15:19:01

I appear to have acquired a jellyfish friend and I am not quite sure what to do about it... I say jellyfish, as she has recently given me a good sting despite looking harmless from afar.

We have a shared interest and she has been to my house a few times for cups of tea. She likes my DC and gives them little gifts at Christmas etc and I help her out with computer bits and pieces. Recently though, there has been a bit of a sting in her tail...

She made a comment about me tidying up my house, saying that I should really do it because my friends won't bring their DC over to play with my DC if they see my living room, and my DC need space to run around. According to Jelly, she noticed that it got better for a while but now it is bad again and I should sort it out for the sake of DC.

Is it just me, or is that just bloody rude?! I would never be friendly with someone, be invited to their house and then make comments like that, even if they lived in a complete midden!

FWIW, my house isn't a showhome by any standards and there are toys / buggy etc about but it is clean and there are not piles of junk everywhere. Her comment really hurt my feelings as it came from nowhere and I was taken aback a bit! I started to explain / justify myself rather than telling her to Foxtrot Oscar, purely because I was A - so shocked and B - have been taught to respect my elders etc...

She also criticised my parenting (I am often tired when we see each other due to sleep thief child) telling me that my baby shouldn't be in our room anymore (under 1) and that I should be putting baby in their own room to sleep alone so I don't disturb them, and leave them to CIO. According to Jelly, not doing this is irresponsible as I will be too tired to look after everyone properly the next day and I could have an accident with the baby, like push him out in front of a car crossing the road or something. My marriage must also be suffering with the baby still in our room. (it isn't.)

I have never mentioned any of these subjects to her before so there is no way she can think they are safe subjects to discuss with me - I have never talked about them to her. The only thing I have mentioned is that I am busy and / or tired due to aforementioned sleep thief child.

She does generally come across as being a bit bossy and does get up people's noses... She does boss me around / tell me what to do quite a bit but I have always just ignored that as I am a pretty easy going and I do / did like her and the shared interest.

I have tried to just suck it up but days have passed now since the comments were made and it has still really hurt my feelings - I am half hurt and half angry with myself that I didn't tell her to mind her own business.

I want to keep up the shared interest but I think we are done being friends now - even if she meant well and was trying to help it's just overstepped the mark, right?



pippistrelle Fri 13-May-16 15:57:32

Well, I would have gone for the mind your own business option, but if I'd missed out on that, I wouldn't be inviting her round again just to tell her that. She made some over-personal remarks and hurt your feelings, you've made up a not especially nice epithet for her. I would just not invite her in Or share any details of my family life with her again.

CommonBurdock Fri 13-May-16 16:07:28

I have a three strikes and you're out policy. So one more comment out if place and she'll be off the Xmas card list and polite acquaintance only. If you otherwise enjoy her company and that's the only thing she does that's annoying, I'd turn it round on her. "Why does [my living room/sleeping arrrangements etc. bother you so much?" Just let her know politely that she's overstepped the mark.

redexpat Fri 13-May-16 18:29:27

If I wanted your opinion I would have asked for it is a good one.

Foxtrot Oscar took me a while ... grin

Hissy Fri 13-May-16 20:46:18

I would suggest you say something like "that's at least twice you have felt entitled to come into my home and pick at me/my house/my life. That's the last time. Another comment you'll be leaving"

FuzzyOwl Fri 13-May-16 20:52:31

At least you don't need to worry about having her round again. If she tries to invite herself, just tell her you haven't tidied to her standards and don't accept any of her invites. Anytime she messages, you can politely reply but never ask her a question and always be quite vague and brief.

She isn't a friend.

jellyfishschool Fri 13-May-16 21:04:28

I was drawn to this because of my username (I am not a jellyfish I promise - I have a young dc who loves them (the real ones) who wanted to know if they went to school)
Totally agree with the pps. See it as the thin edge of the wedge, and I wouldn't even let it get to 3 strikes! Definitely Foxtrot Oscar. Life is too short.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Fri 13-May-16 22:03:09

If she's gives such a shit about your house being tidy. Tell her to tidy up for you. The cheeky bitch
. Thinking what you like is one thing, but. Saying what you like is entirely another.
Some people have no filter

Gide Fri 13-May-16 22:29:04

Classic mumsnet response: 'Wow, did you mean to be so rude?' Simple.

Guiltypleasures001 Fri 13-May-16 23:08:20

Or the other mumsnet classic comment

"Are you on glue"

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