crack addiction

[yvonnecollyer]

This is first time on this.I am desparate right now n feel i can not cope much longer.My son is 37,and been addicted to crack for aprox,15 year,s.my son is loved so much by me,his father,and his sister.And been brought up in a happy home.We have tryed everything,you can think of,to help him with his habit,The hardest,was tuff love,for a year.He has attended meetings on n off for years.There,s nothing,we have not try,d.My heart is not broken,it,s in tiny peices.I dont no how we hav got threw this hell.There,s nothing i do not know abt crack,"or as call it the devil".My son talks to me openly,n truthfully,about his addiction,or any subject,cos thats how i brought him up.Then in feb this year,my worst nightmare hapened.He had a heart attack.He had a stent put in a vain leading to his heart"so blood clot cld flow".I am thinking to myself,this is the end of 15 year,s of hell.This wil now stop his addiction.He was discharged frm hospt after 5 day,s.And was piping again after 2 weeks.His father had emergrated to thiland when all this was going on"we sepatated 10 years ago"so with some help from familly,we bought a flight ticket for him,in the hope he would get clean.He was clean for a month ,Returned home,to live with his sister.She gave him another chance to live with her.Not a week wld go by,n last night at 5am he was knocking on my door.He had done what he has been doing for many year,s.Work for a few day,s" Self employed"get the money,and sit in his van alone,all day,n all night,with his crack pipe.Please is there any one out there who can help me,i just dont no what to do any more.He could of had a masive heart attack,n no one knew.He got in bed with me last nite,and is stil there this evening.I am a pensioner now,i am 64,and live in a 1 bed small flat.I hope n pray,for some advice.Thank you so much for reading this.

[Bogeyface]

Addicts have to hit rock bottom before they find it in themselves to stop. He has never hit rock bottom because you and his other family have always kept him from it. I can understand why you did that, but it really isnt the best thing for him.

My honest opinion is that you need to start saying no to him. No he cannot live with you or his sister. No you wont fund a months holiday with his dad. No you will not give him money or access to your home. From now on he is on his own 2 feet and whatever he chooses to do is up to him and nothing to do with you. He knows where to go to get help, so he can access that help if he wants to.

The fact is that only one person can save him from his addiction, and thats him. At the moment you are not helping him, you are just allowing yourself to be dragged down too.

Its time to make him face up to his actions and do not back down. A month is no time at all for him to get clean, it takes months and months, sometimes years, for a person to truly kick the habit and you need to be strong enough to keep him away until he has gone through that process.

I do feel for you, but right now you need to stop "helping" him. The only way you can truly help is by not helping.

[yvonnecollyer]

Thank you for replying.You are right what you say.I am a great believer in" quote"dont catch me if i fall unquote".
Over the past 15 year,s we have done what you advised.One time he got clean for a year,he attended rehab on a daily basis.I spoke to him this morning,whilst he is feeling so down,depressed,and crying.He said he has had enough,and wants to stop using.But said he dont feel confidant to do this on his own.For the first time in 15 year,s,he said he would rather go miles away,stay in residential rehab for as long as it takes.I told him to start the ball rolling.But he truly does not know where to start,unless you go private,and that is not possible.May be some one out there,can give me some advice.He needs a long term solution.I am greatful for your advice,and would be interested to know,if you are talking as a recovering addict,or other.Kind regards Yvonne