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Just found out my dp ex has children at DS school.

(6 Posts)
coco1810 Tue 10-May-16 21:05:44

Me and DP have been together 18 years (engaged for 17 - no need to rush these things!). We have two amazing kids and a very happy relationship.

I met DP when I was 18 and he was 25. I couldn't believe that he wanted to be with me tbh. He had split with his ex a year previous to us meeting as he caught her shagging a bloke behind a pub - classy!

I have always been insecure about her. I know he would never cheat on me with her or anyone else. I know that he loves me and puts me and our kids before anything. However it all comes down to the fact she was 25 and more grown up than me when I was 18.

Anyway, fast forward to this term and at a school function I realise that she has kids at DS school and even one in DS year. Suddenly I am an insecure 18 year old again. I know I sound stupid, and when I tell my DP he's going to call me a silly moo and give me a hug. Wish I didn't feel like this.

pocketsaviour Tue 10-May-16 21:11:50

I have to say after 18 years of what sounds like a happy and stable relationship, I think you might want to explore with a counsellor why you're still so insecure about a person your partner was briefly (compared to your rship) with, a year before he met you.

Hassled Tue 10-May-16 21:17:18

Pocketsaviour is right. You've been in a happy relationship for 18 years - why are you now feeling insecure? What could she possibly do to harm you? She's probably a perfectly nice, normal woman who cringes at the pub-shagging she got up to 18 years ago.

coco1810 Tue 10-May-16 21:17:32

Maybe you're right. But another part of me is calling myself a silly tart for thinking this way.

pocketsaviour Tue 10-May-16 21:19:30

Wait, you're calling yourself a silly tart because you think you're being naive and she's going to lunge at your DP across the playground? Or are you calling yourself a silly tart because that scenario is bloody ridiculous?

Do you suffer with anxiety in general life?

coco1810 Tue 10-May-16 21:45:10

A silly tart for thinking that this person has any bearing on my life. I am 36 and a grown woman, I am confident in myself and my relationship. I normally don't suffer from anxiety but I am seeing my Dr as we were in a serious crash on the motorway two months ago and I am experiencing anxiety and panic attacks.

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