Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 3 4

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

DP and I just broke up.

98 replies

HermioneJeanGranger · 07/05/2016 21:27

He lied to me for our entire relationship.
He has two children he lied to me about. He told me they were step-kids but it turns out they're biologically his. He knew that.
I asked about them loads - he made up lies to cover the original lie.

We were due to get married in September.

Fuck.

OP posts:

Report

JeanSeberg · 07/05/2016 21:28

What was the reason for lying about them and how did it come out?

BIWI · 07/05/2016 21:29

Sorry to hear that. What a nasty man
for you

pinkyredrose · 07/05/2016 21:29

Omg he lied about his children! it might not seem like it but I think you've dodged a bullet!

KatieKaboom · 07/05/2016 21:29

Lucky escape! What kind of man denies his own children??!

Big hugs to you.

gamerchick · 07/05/2016 21:30

Ah I'm sorry man I know this sounds shit but better you found out now than after the wedding.

Take a squeeze, have a few days hunkering down if you can't face telling yet then surround yourself with the people who love you. You need them.

Or call them now if you need someone sooner.

BeauGlacons · 07/05/2016 21:31

I know your name. You're around a lot. I don't remember stuff about posters so can't think of your history.

I am so very sorry. This must hurt so much. You will be ok though. The sky will turn blue again for you. providing you don't go back

Kidnapped · 07/05/2016 21:33

That's an awful lie.

Did he think you wouldn't find out at some stage? Like when they call him dad for instance?

HermioneJeanGranger · 07/05/2016 21:34

It all came out when we were planning our wedding. We were meant to go to America and we were looking at Visa applications. He told me he had a criminal record for assault - and then this huge story came out that the two children his ex had were his, and not kids he'd adopted like he told me.

I just feel so numb

OP posts:

StuRedman · 07/05/2016 21:35

Oh god, what an awful think to lie about. Do you have any idea why he did?

Kidnapped · 07/05/2016 21:35

You'd not met the children before?

Misnomer · 07/05/2016 21:37

I'm really sorry. What a crappy situation. Does he have contact with the children? I don't understand why he would lie about them being his.

Kidnapped · 07/05/2016 21:38

Sorry OP. Of course the kids would call him dad if he told you they were adopted. You wouldn't think anything of it.

You have done nothing wrong. At all.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 07/05/2016 21:38

He basically denied his own children. Do you really think, he'd have been any different if you'd have had children with him.
Thank Goodness you found out what a lying hound he is now, and not when 5 years down the line, when. You had 2 kids together.

HermioneJeanGranger · 07/05/2016 21:38

No, he said he adopted them when he married his ex, and he lost contact with them and ex when they split.

OP posts:

starry0ne · 07/05/2016 21:39

It won't feel like it now but its great it happened now not after the wedding..

I am not surprised you feel numb do you have RL support you can call round ?

expatinscotland · 07/05/2016 21:44

Lucky escape.

HermioneJeanGranger · 07/05/2016 21:46

Thank you for all your nice words

Yes, my parents know.

OP posts:

Kidnapped · 07/05/2016 21:47

Urrrggh...

So rather than say to you "I abandoned my children", he said "I adopted my ex's children". Trying to make himself out to be a bloody hero when he is a total scumbag.

That's just unforgivable. Those poor kids.

Tequilamockinbird · 07/05/2016 21:50

Definitely a lucky escape op. What a tosser.

Be kind to yourself

pointythings · 07/05/2016 21:56

I know it really hurts now, but you are well out of this. I've seen you around on MN, you give sound advice and you really care. So you are a good person, and you will end up meeting someone who is really worthy of you.

But first, allow yourself to grieve. Learn to live alone again, find out who you are and let the good things come to you.

All the very best from me.

NorksAreMessy · 07/05/2016 22:04

Priority one...

...a completely wonderful holiday booked for the time you SHOULD have got married with some of your most brilliant pals and spending the money you would have spent on the wedding. Get planning.

HermioneJeanGranger · 07/05/2016 22:36

Thank you

I have a lot to sort out but I know I can't stay with him. Wanker.

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

ConcreteUnderpants · 07/05/2016 22:41

Not much to add - agree you have had a lucky escape with this one.
Sending you hugs.

HermioneJeanGranger · 08/05/2016 02:36

Anyone up? I feel sick and shaky and can't sleep.

OP posts:

wishiwasntme · 08/05/2016 02:39

Yes. I'm awake. I'm not surprised that you're finding it hard to sleep; you've had a pretty big shock.. Maybe some would help

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.