Issues after getting back together with ex

[SunderlandLady]

Hi all,

Looking for advice as I am really down at the moment.

My current partner and I are back together having been together previously for 3.5 years. I broke up with him in a really immature way when I got to breaking point with him just beig unreliable and unsupportive in the relationship. It really broke him and he felt like I just walked out and didn't give him the decency of having a conversation or letting him know how I felt properly which was true.

We were apart for a year and I saw someone for 4 months during this time and he had a girlfriend for maybe 10 months.

Before we got together we spoke a lot about the other people and both admitted it's difficult to know that this has happened.

The issue is that recently I feel that the break up and other man is being thrown in my face constantly. It is being mentioned litrelly every other day. When I say why are u bringing this up again he says it's just normal and its part of an adult conversation. He has asked stuff like "did you do XYZ with the other guy" and also has said oh "when you just walked out on me for a year..."

I feel that we love each other a lot and while it is hard to be back together that leaving the past behind shouldn't be this difficult. My partner is not as open with feelings as me and I think he maybe be insecure but not able to say it directly to me. I am considering txting him how I feel so he has time to think about it. Or is it better to say it to his face?

Please help!

It's the only thing we argue about and I know the relationship has no chance unless this is sorted out.

[Guiltypleasures001]

It doesn't what way you broke up with him op the fact you did for what sounds like very valid reasons is enough.

Is he still,like his old self or has he stepped up? Maybe say to him when he asks did ex do xyz answer did yours ? Then maybe hen you left me for a year, you didn't hang around meeting someone else did you?

Just reflect it all back to,him he sounds like a jerk to be honest

[HelenaDove]

It broke him so much that he had a girlfriend for 10 months of that year as opposed to your 4.

He gets to bring up the bloke at every oppurtunity This means that during your time apart he wanted you pining for him instead of you doing the same as him and dating someone else. A little touch of misogyny there i think.

An ex is an ex for a reason.

[ImperialBlether]

Yes, you're remembering now why he was an ex. Getting back together often doesn't work out. He hasn't really understood how frustrated you were with him - he's not mature enough, is he?

I'd be off.