Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Ex owes me ££££'s - what can I do?

(8 Posts)
BourbounPrincess Thu 05-May-16 10:07:34

My H (he left 7/8 months ago) owes me around £3000 for various things:

- CM arrears - before I set up a claim with CMS
- A loan I gave him at Christmas time so he could buy the DC some presents
- A few debts (that I knew nothing about until he'd gone), there was no choice in me paying them ASAP, if I didn't our TV, electricity, gas, phone, rent etc would have been compromised.

How can I get this back? I have asked him nicely, I have asked him more firmly,
CAB didn't really give much help tbh told me to talk it out with him (lol)
I have no evidence I gave him anything, or that he owes me anything. But there must be something..?

The main reason behind our split did seem to be money, and I am beginning to realise through MN that he was probably financially abusive throughout the marriage. Not giving it back is his way of still having a hold over us, isn't it?

I am meant to be receiving £13/week CM as he has somehow told them he works less than he is meant to - haven't seen a penny of this yet either.

Any advise appreciated smile

Joysmum Thu 05-May-16 10:17:07

With no evidence, nothing. With evidence then small claims court.

Baconyum Thu 05-May-16 10:19:14

Afraid you'll have to write most of it off (and I know how galling that is!)

As for child maintenance presumably you're going through cms? If so the only way to get them to shift themselves is be a pest! Also get your MP involved.

hazel1910 Thu 05-May-16 17:20:56

Poor you.

I'm in the same situation. I loaned the Dementor over £10K to get a 4x4 car that could get him to Whitby to see his parents if there was bad weather in winter.

The wanker has said there was no verbal or written agreement and that it was a family car. I was only allowed to drive the thing when he was drunk and needed a lift, the kids and I couldn't eat a flipping tictac in the car. He's taken me for a fool and I've played the part perfectly. I can only hope karma catches him soon and that I can be there to see it.

ImperialBlether Thu 05-May-16 17:23:16

Couldn't you get the car back, Hazel?

hazel1910 Thu 05-May-16 21:16:44

Hiya, he got rid of the 4x4 after 1 year and got another one. So I've no idea where I stand now?

SleepingTiger Thu 05-May-16 21:26:38

It makes a difference if you are divorcing and this is a financial settlement you are seeking Hazel. If still married and not, then it's irrelevant.

Cabrinha Thu 05-May-16 21:40:51

Why did you not known about some debts until he'd gone?
If he has fraudulently applied for things in your name you might be able to go to the police.

I'm not certain but I don't think you have any right to backdate CM at all.

For the loan for your children's presents - very odd thing to loan for, within a family? That would be hard to prove I think.

In your case I think I'd mentally lump it all in with the financial separation for divorce. Whatever you were going to propose, add £3K to it.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now