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Controlling boyfriend

(18 Posts)
Mumtotwo22 Wed 04-May-16 20:37:51

Hi all. I'm not one to ever air my dirty laundry. How ever, I feel like I literally have no one else to talk to and if anything just want to let these thoughts and feelings out to anyone that will listen.
My boyfriend has just completely flipped. My child wanted to go for tea at her friend from schools house. I agreed and swapped numbers with her dad to arrange it. We spoke, just about what time he would bring her home, where my address was. That was it. Nothing more.
I told my boyfriend that my child was going to her friends for tea and I'd sorted it with her dad via texts. He now is absolutely convinced that im having some affair and that I've been to sleep with him today (baby with me?!). I told him to read the messages. I told him it was completely innocent and that he is being extremely unreasonable but he won't listen. And now he is treating me like sh!t basically. Silent treatment, snarky comments when my phone bleeps, asking if it's my "lover", ignoring me and the kids, going to bed early without me and making me look after our baby with no help or input. I've cried my eyes out and there is no shred of sympathy or an apology. He genuinely thinks he is right and that I'm playing away. It's ridiculous. I always feel like I'm treading on egg shells with him as it is but this just stretched way beyond anything. I've been so upset and depressed about it for the last few days. It's just the complete injustice of it. I'm being treated like crap by a bully.

katemiddletonsnudeheels Wed 04-May-16 20:40:22

And you don't want to be with a bully flowers

Is there something stopping you from ending it, right now?

Goingtobeawesome Wed 04-May-16 20:40:44

So what are you going to do about it?

summerwinterton Wed 04-May-16 20:40:54

Well the obvious question is why stay with a bully who you have to walk on eggshells around. No idea why you would put up with this awful treatment. Don't you think you deserve better than him?

AnyFucker Wed 04-May-16 20:42:35

You are with an abusive man

Please make steps to end it safely

Hissy Wed 04-May-16 20:43:24

End this now. Today.

Don't give it a seconds more thought. He's abusive and has to go.

TomTomKitten Wed 04-May-16 20:45:00

If you ditch him he won't be able to treat you like crap. I assume he has no other redeeming characteristics?

ABCAlwaysBeCunting Wed 04-May-16 20:45:47

Totally unacceptable.

The hills are that way. ->>>>>>


coconutpie Wed 04-May-16 20:47:15

LTB. On a side note, he may be cheating himself which is why he's suddenly accusing you of cheating.

lovelilies Wed 04-May-16 20:48:02

Contact your local domestic abuse (abuse doesn't have to mean physical) service.
Google your town/city plus domestic abuse and something should pop up.
Or call Women's Aid which is the national helpline.
It's a bloody hard phone call to make, I know, but once you have, you'll feel so much better.
I bet this is just the tip of the iceberg, and it's so helpful to speak to someone in RL who can help you make the steps to do what you need to do.

AnyFucker Wed 04-May-16 20:52:23

Yup, classic projection that is

He's judging you by his own standards, I would wager

Mumtotwo22 Wed 04-May-16 21:23:45

Thanks for all your replies. I was in a domestically violent relationship before this for years on end and it took such strength and to really reach breaking point for me to leave. I took my child and literally ran. I guess a part of me was naive to this relationship, thinking that if it wasn't violence then it wasn't abuse (I'm clued up and I know it's not always physical ) but I guess I just thought it was better than what I used to put up with. I know he's controlling me. And I know I should make him leave. I think I'm scared to be honest. And I'm not sure what exactly of. I don't work at the moment and he does so I'm completely dependent on him. And he does everything. Literally I don't leave the house much at all. It's not healthy and i know it's him. Im telling him to go tomorrow. I can't live like this and the kids aren't being put through it either. I want to be happy. I want to be alone and get to know myself and be the best mum I know I am and make some
Friends again and start my own business. I have dreams and goals and they won't be achieved with him in my life squashing me and suppressing everything I am.
Thanks to you all for your help x

Lostandfoundat21 Wed 04-May-16 21:23:48

Waving the projection red flag loud and clear.

Mumtotwo22 Wed 04-May-16 21:24:25

Oh and some of you were right about the guilt. I found messages from 4 or 5 women not long ago. Twat.

AnyFucker Wed 04-May-16 21:50:08

Oh dear sad

Put the fucker out

AnyFucker Wed 04-May-16 21:50:58

The only acceptable level of abuse is zero love

frieda909 Wed 04-May-16 22:01:46

Good luck tomorrow, well done for seeing through his controlling bullshit and making the decision to do something about it!

You should absolutely not have to justify or explain a few texts to a fellow parent! I actually doubt that he is 'absolutely convinced' that you've been cheating, it sounds more like he's just an abusive asshole who'll look for any excuse to get angry with you about something.

My emotionally abusive ex would occasionally accuse me of fancying and flirting with various friends of his, for no reason other than (I realise now) just wanting to find yet another thing to have a go at me about. When someone is determined to be mad at you, they'll find something to be mad about.

Mumtotwo22 Wed 04-May-16 22:39:43

Laughing at 'put the fucker out' grin that's great!! I agree, he is never ever happy with anything I do. You're probably right, it's just something new to be 'mad' at me for. New start tomorrow. Good night all X

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