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Silly crush advice

(5 Posts)
18inmyhead Tue 03-May-16 22:30:06

So I need some tips of how to rid a silly intense crush I have developed, not to mention it couldn't be more inappropriate.

My husband and I have been together for almost a decade, I was 18 when we met. Very much wild and free and crammed in as much crazyness in a few years, met my husband who made me feel very safe and secure and I went from being life and soul of the party to homebody. We have an 8 year old, toddler and an 11mo and I am going back to work. A new job with DH's boss. Scary as I had my previous job for 10yrs so you can imagine my nerves. Dh's boss made me feel very at ease, we got along very well and I'm extremely attracted to him. I keep telling myself it's just lust, a man with power etc. But I really just need to get him out of my head full stop. I'm thinking of unpleasant things, sweaty feet, pees on the toilet seat, stuff I hope he does to keep up my disgust. He's not married, long term girlfriend, no children. I would be the one to lose everything if anything ever happened.

I love my life, we have bought our dream family home, my husband is my best friend we still laugh daily, the romance side feels a little stale- not through lack of trying, I'm still breastfeeding at least once in the night and I'm just so tired. I think because I'm pushing 30 I've got itchy feet, I'm losing weight and feeling better about myself than I have done in a long time but with my new found confidence comes the inappropriate crush.

Has anyone been in my shoes and gotten over the crush without getting under him?!

Mishaps Tue 03-May-16 22:38:46

The romantic gloss does fade in a marriage and many women have a bit of a crush on another male at some stage. You should regard it as a it of icing on life's cake and not endow it with any serious importance. Treat it lightly and see it for what it is - whatever you do, do not act on it in any way as you will destroy your home and family.

AddToBasket Tue 03-May-16 22:56:05

Well, it sounds like you have good insight into why you are where you are and feeling how you feel.

Obviously, don't act on it. And Google 'devasted by my mother's affair' for further motivation if you need it.

MiddleClassProblem Tue 03-May-16 23:00:58

I would be the one to lose everything if anything ever happened
That's assuming he fancies you. Your far better off assuming he doesn't and that his girlfriend is far more appealing to him than you. It's ok to admire him as a nice bloke but if you tell yourself it's not an option even if you wanted it to be, it might help quell the crush to just appreciation. And for all you know, that's how it is anyway.

MiddleClassProblem Tue 03-May-16 23:06:49

Also it might be worth thinking of all the private things that you would do that only your husband sees. Like letting your legs get hairy, sniffing you pits for a check, having incontinence when you have a cold. Could you do all that in front of him? Living with someone who gets all that stuff and isn't repulsed by you takes time and is bloody special flowers

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