Got a 18 month old DD and am 38 weeks pregnant with DC2. I was playing with DD earlier this evening and she was laughing hysterically. Out of nowhere DH said "How come you love her again?" And seeing I was a bit 
he explained that I had gone through a period where I couldn't wait to get away from her and I was very unaffectionate and maybe now that I was pregnant my maternal instinct had "kicked back in again."
The truth of it - or at least the truth I have told myself - is that I breastfed her for 9 months, all that time DD being my limpet, me being the only one she would go to or who would take care of her, because DH has always worked all hours til very very late and never done any childcare. And then when I stopped BF-ing, I started getting a bit of childcare from a nanny (18 hours a week), got fit, started bits of work (I work for myself,) felt more back to myself - but it was just a period of defining myself again as a person AND a mother, not a rejection of DD. Of course now I'm the business-end of pregnant again, things are slowing down, I've stopped work and have more time to dedicate to games all day with DD, but really, most of my time and certainly nearly all of my thoughts, since she was born, have been dedicated to DD.
So his comment made me cry. Just the thought that the person who knows me the best and should know my relationship with DD the best can give such a unanimous verdict through a question about "loving her again" like that! Maybe I am super sensitive because of being heavily preg, I don't know. But I have just given so much. It has been me who has nursed her through illness, got up in the night with her, weaned her, played with her, had my body change beyond recognition twice in two years, ridden the hormonal roller coaster, gone back to work, done everything simultaneously, all the time DH working, working working - and he can just make that comment and expect it to not have an effect.
He apologised and backtracked and said he was being cheeky, but that question has stayed with me and he expects me to forget it. Do you think I am being sensitive? Do you think he just doesn't understand? I am not quite sure why I am so upset about it. Maybe just hormones?
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Relationships
DH comments about me loving/not loving DD
attheedgeofsanity · 01/05/2016 22:49
Don't dismiss it as hormones. I completely understand what you mean. Completely.
I think you should tell your DH what you said here and that he should think before he speaks.
You sound like a great mum though 
He would be under the patio left to me, but I'm also main carer and pregnant though so......
Maybe you could ask him if he loves his DD since he seems to prefer working?
Brilliant comeback! Do this.
I am 
on your behalf.
He has been thoughtless and insensitive. I bet he had no idea whatsoever how much it would hurt you, I bet he didn't intend to either.
He hasn't the foggiest clue how motherhood has changed you. I doubt he could ever understand.
Do not doubt yourself.
I don't have bio dc so can only imagine how much you've been through physically but if my dh spoke to me like that at all I'd pretty much echo DailyMail 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
That is an absolutely horrible and unkind thing to say. I don't know if he is deliberately being unkind or if he is just too stupid to understand the impact of what he has said.
Don't know which is worse really.
What a dickhead. Make sure he hears loud and clear how offensive and inappropriate that was.
DH once had a massive go at me for making poor decisions with the kids, not consulting him before doing things like signing them up for activities and the like (this was when ds broke an instrument that belonged to school). DH is 100% lazy about childcare and does zero whenever possible, then had the audacity to criticise me when I do basically the whole lot without complaining. I did tell him right where he could fuck off to like dailymail said. It was like he viewed himself as my manager or something: I should do all the grunt work but consult him about strategy. Well he doesn't think that any more 
Moreover our children are now old enough to remark on his relative inactivity so he can't hide.
Wow this must've been horrid to hear from the person you say knows you the best! It is hugely insensitive. (I hope he didn't say it in front of your DD??) No wonder you feel hurt! You sound like an absolutely dedicated, fab mum. If he hasn't been involved much then he has no idea how tough it can be, and how much you needed a bit of a break sometimes.
TBH I wouldn't bother with some of these agrees I've suggestions - particularly if you think it'll start an argument. (Sounds like you can do without that right now). I would definitely say a the bits in your post about having stopped work you have more time to spend with DD but you have always loved her and had her in your thoughts.
Is it possible that he just doesn't understand maternal love in the way you do? He sounds remarkable insensitive and at least in this instance kicking empathy.
Hat off to you for the 9 months beat feeding. That's really hard to do, and takes huge amounts of dedication and determination.
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