Got a 18 month old DD and am 38 weeks pregnant with DC2. I was playing with DD earlier this evening and she was laughing hysterically. Out of nowhere DH said "How come you love her again?" And seeing I was a bit he explained that I had gone through a period where I couldn't wait to get away from her and I was very unaffectionate and maybe now that I was pregnant my maternal instinct had "kicked back in again."
The truth of it - or at least the truth I have told myself - is that I breastfed her for 9 months, all that time DD being my limpet, me being the only one she would go to or who would take care of her, because DH has always worked all hours til very very late and never done any childcare. And then when I stopped BF-ing, I started getting a bit of childcare from a nanny (18 hours a week), got fit, started bits of work (I work for myself,) felt more back to myself - but it was just a period of defining myself again as a person AND a mother, not a rejection of DD. Of course now I'm the business-end of pregnant again, things are slowing down, I've stopped work and have more time to dedicate to games all day with DD, but really, most of my time and certainly nearly all of my thoughts, since she was born, have been dedicated to DD.
So his comment made me cry. Just the thought that the person who knows me the best and should know my relationship with DD the best can give such a unanimous verdict through a question about "loving her again" like that! Maybe I am super sensitive because of being heavily preg, I don't know. But I have just given so much. It has been me who has nursed her through illness, got up in the night with her, weaned her, played with her, had my body change beyond recognition twice in two years, ridden the hormonal roller coaster, gone back to work, done everything simultaneously, all the time DH working, working working - and he can just make that comment and expect it to not have an effect.
He apologised and backtracked and said he was being cheeky, but that question has stayed with me and he expects me to forget it. Do you think I am being sensitive? Do you think he just doesn't understand? I am not quite sure why I am so upset about it. Maybe just hormones?
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Relationships
DH comments about me loving/not loving DD
attheedgeofsanity · 01/05/2016 22:49
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