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Happily single people - how do you handle the 'any gossip' questions?

(41 Posts)
cavaliercleo Sat 30-Apr-16 22:08:18

Having been happily single for a number of years (I have 2 DCs, was married to their father and had other relationships), I am getting fed up with the very regular 'how's your love life?' and 'any gossip?' questions. And the disbelieving faces when I say 'No ' with a smile on my face, 'I'm having a great time, thanks' or similar. I genuinely believe I'm one of a sizeable minority whose default mode is single (but not asexual). And I understand it's hard for others to understand or believe. Anyone got a good response (without being rude) that I can come back with to these questions but with whom I don't want to have a major discussion about my lack of interest (my close family and friends have given up asking). Thank you!

Thisisthelastime45sc Sat 30-Apr-16 22:13:00

One that works for my friends is ' I'm just enjoying being single at the moment' wink

Jollyphonics Sat 30-Apr-16 22:16:10

I just say that I'm still very happy with George Clooney but we have to keep it quiet to avoid Hollywood gossip

FlowerOfTheWest Sat 30-Apr-16 22:16:46

To any gossip type questions, I just say a cheery 'Nope!' or pretend I don't understand what they're getting at and prattle on about my next holiday.
I really hate it when well-meaning friends suggest I try online dating. It is actually my idea of hell, and I tell them so!

cavaliercleo Sat 30-Apr-16 22:33:29

Yes, I've had 'Have you tried online dating?' like I might have never heard of it before (I have and did have a relationship but got bored (again)). The 'enjoying being single at the moment' is wearing a bit thin after four years......

pocketsaviour Sat 30-Apr-16 22:53:55

"I'm in a sexless but monogamous lesbian relationship with my cat" works well for me grin

Bitchqueen90 Sat 30-Apr-16 22:53:58

I've been single for 2 years and I'm not looking. Focusing on career right now. ExH has a girlfriend so everyone seems to think I'm the sad lonely one when in reality I'm the happiest I've ever been. I've actually just got to the stage where I've said to everyone "stop asking, when I start dating again I'll tell you!" I'm probably a bit too short with people though. It does wear thin sometimes, as if there isn't more to life. hmm

LyndaNotLinda Sat 30-Apr-16 22:57:52

"No. Why, do you know any I should know? <wide-eyed>"

People stop asking after a while. I've been single for years. smile

cosytoaster Sat 30-Apr-16 23:01:42

Bewildered look and a cheery nope is what I do but am watching with interest for better ideas, may have to go with Pocket's suggestion, though as I have two cats it'd have to be a polygamous relationship grin

Baconyum Sat 30-Apr-16 23:03:41

They will stop asking. I've been single 13 years now. I prefer it (no relationships but I'm not averse to casual 'fun' but nobody in my life knows apart from BFF).

Even my mother (in a violent abusive marriage for 40+ years but thinks women can't survive without men!) has stopped asking!

Baconyum Sat 30-Apr-16 23:04:19

Sorry to answer your question I honestly say I prefer being single!

cavaliercleo Sat 30-Apr-16 23:07:38

I haven't got any cats so that won't work (I do like them and would have one but not practical at the moment). I don't want to be short with people but it is tempting when the conversation goes on and on about your lack of partner (when you know full well that some of them have far from perfect love lives and you are probably enjoying life far more than they are but you don't fit with the norm). It's like the last taboo.

MakeItRain Sun 01-May-16 00:03:43

I've got two fairly young children so I just answer with "I haven't got the time, energy, money or inclination!'"

ilovelamp82 Sun 01-May-16 00:06:56

I am honest and say "I'm happier than ever just me and boys, don't want to ruin it, maybe I'll think differently later in life"

BubblingUp Sun 01-May-16 00:34:32

"The Judge told me to stay away from men."

NotnowNigel Sun 01-May-16 01:05:18

I'm thinking of dating again on the next eclipse. I've heard it's lucky

CherryPicking Sun 01-May-16 07:44:07

I always just say I'm too busy with the kids, but if the right person came along that would be nice.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 01-May-16 07:49:15

I tell them I'm saving myself for the millionaire of my dreams.

ittooshallpass Sun 01-May-16 07:56:17

I say what Lynda says... Is there anyone you could introduce me to? Or does your husband/ friend/ cousin know anyone suitable? No? Shame. I'll stick to being single then...

Or sometimes if I'm pissed off with all the pquestioning, I say: I'm still single. Waiting for the great switch around when all my married friends get divorced in 10 years time.

BrandNewAndImproved Sun 01-May-16 07:57:01

I hate this. My gran is the worst. Every single time I see her she asks me if there's a man on the scene yet, what about older men, older men will spoil me more and have money, I'm wasting my twenties being single, every other cliché in the book.

I would like to find someone but I'm not in a rush and I'd like to find it irl not online. That's not anyone's business but mine.

SurroMummy13 Sun 01-May-16 08:00:56

If they bug you, make up something eccentric!

DraughtyWindow Sun 01-May-16 08:31:51

I say, 'Why do you need to know?'. They don't ask again. Or the other good one is simply responding with 'How's yours?'
It's fine you not wanting to be rude, but they're being rude for asking! It's none of their goddamn business.

stabbypokey Sun 01-May-16 09:29:51

I'm not suited to relationships, after giving them a fair go, with some very nice men. I have been single for 5 years, with a few dalliances. Close friends know not to ask as there is never any news.

I just normally say to people I don't see that often that there isn't anyone special, it reassures people that you aren't a strange freak, and masks the fact that you would rather chew your own arm off than be in the relationship they are.

Temporaryanonymity Sun 01-May-16 09:39:29

I get where you are coming from. I'm happily single too. When my friends moan about their husbands and then ask me if there are any potential men on the scene I tell them I've been put off by their stories. But only when they moan!

cavaliercleo Sun 01-May-16 10:19:24

Thank you all, sounds like we are all in the same boat, which is reassuring in itself. I do think it's rude as it wouldn't be acceptable to ask a married person when they last had sex at the pitch side of a children's football match......My friend said they stop asking once you turn 50 so only a few years to go for me!

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