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Am I wrong to want more?

(5 Posts)
snoopdogg12 Fri 29-Apr-16 16:21:05

Its been nearly a year since I left, divorce nearly finalized and money equally split. I'm quite a self sufficient woman and have always wanted the career and the nice things in life which I've always strived for. I was with someone for 15 yrs who was very laid back but I loved him and thought marriage would be the making of us. Self study and career progression started just after we got married, I tried to juggle everything as he seemed to become more complacent and indifference set in, he tried to earn as much as me by putting the hours in, I think his pride took over and he missed out on our daughters moments.
It came as a shock to him 18 months ago that I called time on it all, after another night out with colleagues with him drinking too much and me being embarrassed. I didn't see him in the same light and didn't think I ever would again.
Was I wrong to throw it all away? He still isn't over me now but I am ready to move on with my life, does that make me callous and hard?

springydaffs Sat 30-Apr-16 01:02:09

Well, it does make you very erm focussed .

The way you write about him he sounds like an accessory? But you may just be one ambitious woman and you can't be carrying a dead weight. Or what you see as a dead weight, anyway.

Impossible to tell, really, from a few short words.

Superhumancrew Sat 30-Apr-16 12:40:03

You don't need to justify leaving someone who doesn't make you happy :s sometimes people just fall out of love. He doesn't sound that bad, but it comes across in your post that you are not in love with him, nor respect him, so I think you made the right decision smile

pocketsaviour Sat 30-Apr-16 12:43:31

after another night out with colleagues with him drinking too much and me being embarrassed. I didn't see him in the same light and didn't think I ever would again.

I think your last sentence there is the clincher. Once you've seen someone thoroughly humiliate themselves (and by extension, you) it's very hard to come back from. Once respect is gone from a relationship, it's really the end, IME anyway.

I'm assuming this binge drinking was a regular occurrence. If you dumped him after one drunken night then you might have been a bit hasty!

Trills Sat 30-Apr-16 12:45:08

All that you need in order to break up with someone is to believe that your life would be better off without them than it would with them.

You believe that.

So you are perfectly entitled to break up with him.

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