Excellent article about abusive relationships

[Lottapianos]

here

One of the most perceptive pieces I've ever read about abusive, controlling relationships - how to recognise one, why its happening to you, what to do about it. Just a few quotes:

'Minimising his outrageous behaviour with: “all relationships have their ups and downs” will keep you in the shitty relationship you are in.'

'You are being victimised. I’m all for boundaries, but they are futile against a bulldozer.'

'But he’s not doing it because he’s drunk, stressed, insecure, had a terrible cheating ex, is mentally ill, or because his mother dropped him on his head when he was a baby. He’s doing it because he feels he has a right to do it. This is because he has certain beliefs about women which are fully supported by our culture. He’s a misogynist – simple.'

'I still don’t know what love is, but I know it’s not warm and fuzzy feelings – it’s actions, it’s what you do.' Yes yes YES - a thousand times yes to this, and it applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones

Brilliant stuff.

[bibliomania]

Thanks Lotta, that's one of the best articles I've read on the subject.

[littleunderdog]

It's a terrific article. Recognize so much of my marriage in it. Thanks for posting about it

[MLGs]

Brilliant. Thanks so much for posting.

[HandyWoman]

That's a brilliant article, thanks Lotta

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

Thank you Lottaspianos! My narcissistic husband left a year ago and has been causing the entire family nothing but grief. I'm growing more and more resilient after months of constant fear. I need to be so for my children's sake. This article is clearsighted and well written.

[Deepbreath12]

Thanks for posting. This article pretty much confirms that im in an abusive relationship x

[Xan404]

Thank you, that is really interesting

[HoppingForward]

I clicked on the women blaming link after this one, It's 19 minutes long but wow, it really hit home for me.

[justjuanmorebeer]

Fantastic. Shared

[buzzpop]

Confirmed an awful lot for me, helped me to see it wasn't my fault. The 'bulldozer' part especially resonated