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Excellent article about abusive relationships

(11 Posts)
Lottapianos Fri 29-Apr-16 09:18:30


One of the most perceptive pieces I've ever read about abusive, controlling relationships - how to recognise one, why its happening to you, what to do about it. Just a few quotes:

'Minimising his outrageous behaviour with: “all relationships have their ups and downs” will keep you in the shitty relationship you are in.'

'You are being victimised. I’m all for boundaries, but they are futile against a bulldozer.'

'But he’s not doing it because he’s drunk, stressed, insecure, had a terrible cheating ex, is mentally ill, or because his mother dropped him on his head when he was a baby. He’s doing it because he feels he has a right to do it. This is because he has certain beliefs about women which are fully supported by our culture. He’s a misogynist – simple.'

'I still don’t know what love is, but I know it’s not warm and fuzzy feelings – it’s actions, it’s what you do.' Yes yes YES - a thousand times yes to this, and it applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones

Brilliant stuff.

bibliomania Fri 29-Apr-16 09:32:37

Thanks Lotta, that's one of the best articles I've read on the subject.

littleunderdog Fri 29-Apr-16 09:41:29

It's a terrific article. Recognize so much of my marriage in it. Thanks for posting about it

MLGs Fri 29-Apr-16 10:04:37

Brilliant. Thanks so much for posting.

HandyWoman Fri 29-Apr-16 20:36:38

That's a brilliant article, thanks Lotta

ThisIsTheRightTime Sat 30-Apr-16 18:52:31

Thank you Lottaspianos! My narcissistic husband left a year ago and has been causing the entire family nothing but grief. I'm growing more and more resilient after months of constant fear. I need to be so for my children's sake. This article is clearsighted and well written.

Deepbreath12 Sat 30-Apr-16 23:05:36

Thanks for posting. This article pretty much confirms that im in an abusive relationship x

Xan404 Sun 01-May-16 22:45:00

Thank you, that is really interesting

HoppingForward Sun 01-May-16 23:46:44

I clicked on the women blaming link after this one, It's 19 minutes long but wow, it really hit home for me.

justjuanmorebeer Sun 01-May-16 23:54:16

Fantastic. Shared

buzzpop Mon 02-May-16 01:29:25

Confirmed an awful lot for me, helped me to see it wasn't my fault. The 'bulldozer' part especially resonated

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