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How long did it take for you to know you were in love and to say it?

(18 Posts)
Shameandregret Tue 26-Apr-16 22:11:45

Was having this conversation today with some people at work. It varied wildly from about 6 hours to one couple who have been together 3 years and haven't said it yet ha! Although they definitely love each other smile.

Just wondered what the average/consensus is? There is always a lot of talk of red flags on here, one being love bombing!

Littllillies Wed 27-Apr-16 06:24:03

5 months, sadly I was dumped shortly after. sad

MrsBartlet Wed 27-Apr-16 06:29:48

3 weeks. Still together 24 years later so didn't do us any harm grin

MrsBungle Wed 27-Apr-16 06:33:07

It was around a month. Engaged within 3 months and been married 10 years now. We'd both been in at least a couple of other long term relationships and were late 20's. I think I had the experience to know the difference between love and lust at the time.

Shameandregret Wed 27-Apr-16 07:20:36

littlelillies that's awful! Sorry to hear that flowers

GinaBambino Wed 27-Apr-16 07:31:22

littlelilies that's awful! flowers for you

With exh it took around a month for him to say it. Strangely it took me around 6 months to say it back.

With DP it took 3 months but I was so happy he said it, I burst into tears and couldn't say it back. He was slightly concerned but still together 3 years later!

MrTCakes Wed 27-Apr-16 07:44:48

4 months.

witsender Wed 27-Apr-16 07:45:19

About 4 months here I think.

TheNaze73 Wed 27-Apr-16 07:48:54

Sorry to hear that lillies & it kind of reinforces my feeling on it. My ex wife told me after a month, which felt proper weird but, I was young & went with it. My current partner, said it after a year & I reciprocated. I knew & she knew already by the actions around it, that backed it up. I think those 3 little words, mean a lot & mean something different to everyone. I've been with people that say it at least 5 times a day, which doesn't feel right, it's almost habitual, yet being with someone who says it once a month maybe, it means a lot more. It's a great question OP, I'm just in the cautious side, as I think it means a lot to say that

YouMakeMyDreams Wed 27-Apr-16 07:54:38

Around 2 months with dh. He'd been away for a few days and beforehand I wasn't bothered about him going but when he was away I realised I missed him so much. It wasn't planned it just came out. We were both very cynical and hadn't planned on anything serious. He told me he loved me too.
He still gives me butterflies when I look at him. We are in private the most ridiculously loved up couple. I keep sarcastically saying aren't we cute because I am not known for my overt sloppiness in relationships. And old habits die hard grin

Chasingsquirrels Wed 27-Apr-16 09:46:32

I can't remember. For a long time I kept telling him it was just sex and we would crash and burn. It wasn't and we haven't.

Di11ligaf Wed 27-Apr-16 10:12:02

5 days. He said it first. 2 weeks later he proposed. 3 months later we got married. 33 years, 2 kids and 2 grandkids later we're still proving the doubters wrong. smile

Shameandregret Wed 27-Apr-16 10:54:19

Wow it is so subjective! On here reflects RL, no consensus.

I guess that's relationships for you grin Di you give old hard hearted cynics like me the warm fuzzies!

pringleschips Wed 27-Apr-16 11:03:20

DH said it to me after 6 months, I said it to him after 12 months. We got married after 5 years together. Didn't feel the need to rush.

Sgoinneal Wed 27-Apr-16 12:08:02

Knew straight away. Well, I knew he was going to be a really big deal in my life somehow - it was one of those cliched ones that I didn't believe happened, where we sat and talked and talked til no one else was there, just couldn't get enough of each other. It took us still about six months after that to say it in those words, but we both knew. Still together ten years, marriage and dc later.

bitchingtwitching Wed 27-Apr-16 12:11:40

About 2 weeks, he said it first and then I took about a week to say it back. We tell each other lots of times a day, but I came from a not very loving marriage beforehand so am probably overly soppy.

notagiraffe Wed 27-Apr-16 12:14:02

Love at first sight for Dh and me. We both just knew. Think it took us a month or so to say it, six months until we got engaged. Still together 22 years later. I love DH. He's so gentle and cuddly and makes me laugh.

RedMapleLeaf Wed 27-Apr-16 12:24:06

A few weeks I think. This feeling kept bubbling up inside me and I felt as though I would burst if I didn't say it soon.

I think that the type of love you are feeling and expressing changes with time. At the moment I'm feeling the excited, lustful, happy kind of love.

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