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How do I deal with this?

(5 Posts)
Mauratee Tue 26-Apr-16 13:09:07

Today 12:44 Mauratee

I usually find it hard to get a good night sleep, long enough to keep me in good shape the next day, because my toddler wakes up a bit early, she also cries at night sometimes when her cover's off and she's feeling cold and it's me who gets up to cover her. Also, I experience aches in my arms since I had my lymph nodes taken out a few years back, I tend to wake up between few hours of sleep to exercise my arms for relief and try go back to sleep. My husband sleeps beside me and snores loud, he seem to be oblivious of all these happenings, although he claims he knows when I do my exercises and said that I snore as well. What gets to me is that I try to get as much sleep on Saturdays, if possible, wake up a bit later but my hubby who wakes up very early to go to work 4 days a week & comes home at 8pm, eats and go to bed, wakes up early around 6am on Saturday mornings as well and starts shifting & moving around frequently while on his phone, I think his movements wakes our toddler up early as well because she sleeps in her cot nearby. I work 2 days a week and look after the children, home and do school rounds on other days as we have a 7year old son and a step son. I tried not to complain, but after a while it was telling on my body, I felt tired, fatigued and so one Saturday morning, I said it as quietly and politely as I can, ' xx can you stop moving so much' as toddler was also awake & trying to go back to sleep, he flared up and jumped out of bed shouting that I have no respect for him, can he not lie down and relax in his bed if he's not ready to get up? why am I moaning, after all he tolerates it when I'm doing my exercises, it's morning anyway, if I can't sleep it means I just can't sleep and that's not his fault. I felt a bit shocked and just said, I'm still sleepy and trying to sleep a while longer that morning, but he stormed off leaving me and toddler awake in bed. We tried talking it through later as I was moody all that day, but he still insisted I didn't have respect for him by saying what I said.

plainjanine Tue 26-Apr-16 13:15:12

You make a simple request and he starts screaming at you?

Does he always react this way? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells when something is bothering you, afraid of his reaction when you speak to him?

Bree85 Tue 26-Apr-16 15:33:03

Better speak to him about what you feel. That is not good. It does not mean that he works for the family he should not chip in with the household works.

Mauratee Tue 26-Apr-16 23:34:43

Yes, sometimes I feel very cautious about how to answer him or speak my mind to him

plainjanine Wed 27-Apr-16 15:20:48

This sounds like a control technique he's using on you to make you scared to express yourself. Eventually his will be the only opinion in the household.

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