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How many people have rows with partner over in laws?

(39 Posts)
bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 19:23:46

Am so annoyed with Fil that it's caused a massive argument with me and dh. I lost my job on Wednesday and I have spent last few days on Internet/phone trying to arrange interviews from tomorrow onwards as I have had no car since Thursday and was told it would be back today. I now have a blood test tomorrow ( booked 4 weeks in advance as my doctors is useless) which I can't get to cause of no car and 2 job interviews tomorrow which I can't get to. Dh phoned garage around 2.30 today to ask what time we can pick the car up to be told that fil has been round every day since Thursday checking work and he told them this morning that I was in no rush to get the car back so don't worry about getting someone in to help him fix it (the bloke was going to pay someone for an afternoons work to help him) and that it would be fine to pick up on Wednesday afternoon! Without asking me. without my blood results my gp can't issue anymore medication and the nearest appointment they have is 19th of May at 11.30 so even if I did manage to go without meds for nearly 4 weeks if I do manage to get a job how can I ask within the first couple of weeks that I need to start later or leave to go and have a blood test. Personally I can't see me getting through that period though without ending up in hospital. This has now caused a massive argument with my dh as his family can do no wrong. I don't understand why the gargage didn't call me to discuss this rather then taking fil word for it. I can't believe dh is just willing to say I don't know what your going to do tomorrow and that dad was just being helpful.

ArmfulOfRoses Mon 25-Apr-16 19:30:25

Oh I would be raging shockangry

bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 19:43:12

I'm so angry it's beyond words. Me and my husband have been arguing about it since 2.30. angry

blueberrypie0112 Mon 25-Apr-16 19:51:28

I am sure your FIL did not mean any harm, he probably was being friendly by telling them not to stress about it.

Hopefully you can get the situation straightened out soon. But I would ask your DH not to let his dad know you are having the car fix or tell him that he will take care of it.

And check on anything that's is emergency in case anything goes wrong,

blueberrypie0112 Mon 25-Apr-16 19:54:13

Did your FIL know you needed the car soon?

bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 20:32:16

Yes he knew. He said about me walking round the doctors as it wouldn't do me any harm getting a bit of exercise as I could do with loosing a bit of weight and it was no good me having a job with no car to get there. I would have to be very lucky to get a job out of the first 2 interviews I had and not interviewed for a job for the last 9 years. my doctors is a 30 minute walk away I have a interview at 11 and then again at 1. Allowing for traffic/buses it will be around an hour and 15 mins then I've got to find the place. angry

Jengnr Mon 25-Apr-16 20:37:54

Has your husband got a car? Take that one. Let him see what an incinvenience it is.

Jengnr Mon 25-Apr-16 20:38:08

*inconvenience

blueberrypie0112 Mon 25-Apr-16 20:40:06

Ok, and your weight is none of his business too.

It is too late now. All you can do is tell your husband that you want him talk to his dad so something like this doesn't happen again.

bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 20:41:10

I really feel like making my husband walk to work. But as much as I am annoyed with him. I know he would just phone in and take unpaid leave and with only his wage coming in we are really going to struggle.

fuzzywuzzy Mon 25-Apr-16 20:42:14

Tell your husband to ask his dad to pay for taxis to and from your appointments.

Your FIL does not sound like he's trying to be nice or helpful he sounds like a controlling arsehole

jollyjester Mon 25-Apr-16 20:48:41

FIL sounds like an interfering arsehole. (He might be mine as well )

Get your DH to pay for taxis either for his own commute or for you.

And stop telling the in laws anything.

My in laws are the only thing DH and I argue about due to their passive aggressive interfering ways.

bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 20:49:15

This the problem they want to control our life and my husbands lets them. Back story when we got married they said they was going to give us £5k which was very helpful as we wanted to move but they didn't want to give us the £5k after the wedding we had to ask every time we needed to pay something and they would keep record of it till we had spent it.

MadisonAvenue Mon 25-Apr-16 21:11:00

I'd be furious. Really sorry that you've got this crap to deal with. Could your husband get a taxi or public transport to work so that you can use his car?

My in laws are what we argue about the most. MIL is interfering and manipulative and her daughter is the same. My husband tolerates this as they're the only close family he has (apart from me and the kids of course) and I'm supposed to follow suit.

bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 21:15:58

Snap madison that's all we ever argue you. My husband works 6 to 2 and no transport that takes you there direct. Think I'm just gonna have to cancel it all and try and rebook it for end of the week. Doubt I will get doctors appointment though.

blueberrypie0112 Mon 25-Apr-16 21:21:45

Try to get a taxi...can any of your friends or family take you.

Call around and ask

Flossieflower01 Mon 25-Apr-16 21:24:41

Can you drop your husband at work and use the car during the day? Agree that you follow sounds like a controlling arse!

bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 21:55:01

It's so bloody awkward. As my husband works Essex side of the Dartford crossing and I need to be in the Kent side. Everything is against us. I've emailed asking if I can change the job I was most interested in to 3pm and as for the other will tell them the truth that I haven't got a car to get there and I will walk around the doctors even though it's going to take me ages but getting my medication is more important just hope it's not going to rain at that time. I've told my husband I am going to ask the gargage why he want on my fil word about the car when it is my car and that he shouldn't contacted me. Bloody in laws.

DontMindMe1 Mon 25-Apr-16 22:13:34

do you not have buses where you live? confused

bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 23:04:03

Not one what stops near me. I would have to walk into town which is 25/30 min. I think the walk to the doctors is going to be tough without having to do it in to town as well. Due to my illness I find it hard to walk to a normal person bus stop would be 5/10 minute but not fie everything takes at least 2 times longer more.

bloodynoris Mon 25-Apr-16 23:04:34

Also there would just not be enough time to factor in traffic and waiting for bus to turn to.

lem73 Mon 25-Apr-16 23:12:07

Omg I can just imagine my FIL doing something like this and my dh defending him. To answer your question, my ILs have been the biggest problem in my marriage and have caused major rows. They are interfering and selfish and dh thinks they do no wrong. However it is appalling that the garage listened to your fil. You are the customer. I can't believe they took his word for it.

bloodynoris Tue 26-Apr-16 04:49:50

lem it drives me bloody mad. That is the only reason we argue. I have told my husband tonight that I am going to move to nearer my family and away from his and I will be doing that with or without him and it's his choice whether he stays put or not.

1stsignofspring2016 Tue 26-Apr-16 08:38:50

Your health is priority get a taxi

If you need car for job interview taxi or hire a car for a couple of days

The garage may even have a car you can borrow

GashleyCrumbTiny Tue 26-Apr-16 09:14:00

Not that I want to add to your list of people to be justifiably furious with, but I'd be phoning the garage to ask why they heeded someone else's instructions about what to do with YOUR car that presumably YOU left with them, with YOUR contact details for getting it sorted. And ask how they intend to sort out the problems they have thus caused.

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