Fuck.
Me and H have always been turbulent. It's who we are and it worked for a while. Then we had Dd and life changed but he didn't.
He remained turbulent and I mellowed considerably.
Long story short -
Last night we rowed over stupid stuff that turned into a big pointless argument that culminated in me slapping him in the face.
He said he will move out and I am still sort of numb from it. Like its a weird dream. I'm struggling with the fact I did it.
Anyway, I apologised for doing it. Not as a way to sweep it under the rug, it's over and we both know that but because I am sorry it happened.
He has just come home from work and started yelling at me that I can't just apologise and why did I apologise and what was I expecting. I explained I apologised cos I wanted to. Because I meant it.
Apparently I'm out of order for this. I'm diminishing what happened.
Also, during the row last night he said 'OK! O-fucking-K I'm fucking sorry!' As a way of stopping the argument which infuriated me as he does that and then that means I can't say anything else as if I do I'm rejecting his 'apology' so because I rejected his last night that makes me a hypocrite for saying sorry today.
I need a head shake cos we are stuck in this fucking whirl. It's crazy and stupid and pointless and it's been over for ages but I have the fear and I lack the ability to actually push the big red button.
I feel like a fucking idiot.
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I need a good hard talking to
18 replies
MrsDeathOfRats · 25/04/2016 14:29
OP posts:
Alasalas2 ·
25/04/2016 14:44
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