Not sure if this is the place to post this but need some advice please. Backstory is I have elderly parents, both in their late 80s. I live in the northwest, they retired to the south coast, so going to see them is a trek but one that I have done in a regular basis over the last 30years, plus keeping in regular touch by phone and letter.
Dad had Alzheimer's, and has recently moved into fulltime residential care, so mum is at home on her own, understandably feeling sad, lonely, etc etc. However, she has always had a pretty narcissistic personality, the world is against her , remembers every wrong anyone has ever done to her and goes on about them years later. I was her favourite as a child, her relationship with my older sister was and still is pretty toxic, but I have always been there for mum, but that in itself I can see now was pretty manipulative, telling one kid quite blatantly they were the favourite over the others..
Things have come to a head recently in that I have realised how corrosive her behaviour has been, and am unwilling to put up with it any more.Went down there on a mercy dash a few months ago, which is 6 hours with a six year old in tow, got told I was unhelpful, unsympathetic, unempathetic, unsupportive,a terrible daughter, she would never have treated her mother the way I've treated her (!!)etc etc, a proper rant. I was really upset, and have distanced myself from her since then, have been in touch for sake if my daughter and my dad but really can't be arsed with the draining phone calls after a long day in work, particularly as I've got other stuff going in in my life that I am trying to deal with also. Arrgh!
The reason I am posting (sorry if this is long winded) is yesterday I got St George's day card off her saying she is sorry I hate her (?), she doesn't know what she has done ?
I don't hate her but find her behaviour very very hard to deal with. We are meant to be going down there this weekend as my dad is 90 next week. I really feel like making an excuse not to go, but know that would be avoiding the issue really. Thanks for reading, and any constructive advice gratefully received.
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Advice on issues with my mother plz
10 replies
Resilience16 · 25/04/2016 11:24
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