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(10 Posts)
sadandconfused465 Mon 25-Apr-16 00:11:49

My husband and I have been separated for 2 months now. He kicked me out at 7months pregnant. He's given a lot of different reasons why he feels the relationship isn't what it use to be. But I'm confused. One minute we were madly in love, looking for things for the baby, talking about life, being more intermit and then boom he comes out with "I'm unhappy, and have been for a long time" never saw it coming.
I've been left with nothing but pain yet I still want my marriage and family to work.
I'm meeting him tomorrow and I have a horrible feeling that he is going to quit on US completely. I don't know what to do. I just want him to see sense!

VimFuego101 Mon 25-Apr-16 00:14:33

Firstly I would suggest you look at your financial options. Do you own a house? How much equity? What pension does he have? How much child support would he have to pay you? What do you still need for the baby?

Somerville Mon 25-Apr-16 00:41:34

You can't make him see sense. I'm sorry flowers

You can, since you're married, get answers to all those sensible questions ^^. Via a solicitor if necessary.

Tomorrow I would concentrate on keeping your dignity intact, as far as possible. It sounds like you're a much better person than he is.

blueberrypie0112 Mon 25-Apr-16 01:04:41

He is probably cheating on you. Bring in a new relationship does that to a person where they are ditching the old one.

sadandconfused465 Mon 25-Apr-16 01:05:36

We don't own a house, we are 27 and in a shed load of uni and overdraft diets. I am on ESA due to an illness and he is a manager at a pound land. I need a place to live that's what I need for me and the baby. He hasn't got anything in regards to her. So I'm not sure what he is expecting.
I don't feel I have any dignity left. Not with all the hormones. I'm a mess.

sadandconfused465 Mon 25-Apr-16 01:09:17

I don't believe he is cheating.

Yipeekayee72 Mon 25-Apr-16 07:20:23

You might not believe it but you have to consider it as an option. They often are in these situations. He also wouldn't see it as cheating if separated.

VimFuego101 Mon 25-Apr-16 11:34:57

I agree. When men leave, seemingly 'for no reason', more information often comes out further down the line. I would prepare yourself for the fact he may be seeing someone else.

Make sure you let him know you will be filing a child support claim once the baby is born, and ask him to contribute towards the things you need for the baby now. Do you have any joint debts? You will need to discuss how you will pay those off. Look into your local authority housing and find out how you get on the list - where are you staying now? Use the turn2us calculator to look at what you are entitled to in tax credits (pretend you've already had the baby when you enter the info). It sounds like you're hoping he'll come back, but you need to make a plan for what happens if he doesn't.

sadandconfused465 Mon 25-Apr-16 11:51:59

I've asked him is there is someone else and he has said no.
Personally I think it's money and the baby that's scared him.

No we don't have joint debt it's individual. We don't have joint accounts either.

I've already gone the the housing offices and calculated all that I'm entitle to when the baby get here and money wise I am better off. I am currently at my parents until I get a place.
Yes I am holding on to the hope that he comes back. I know many feel that's foolish but it's the way I am.

TheyCallMeBell Mon 25-Apr-16 11:55:46

My ex and I spent months planning for a better future, he was changing jobs to have more family time, we had great plans and life stretching ahead of us was going to be much happier.

The day he changed jobs, he told me he was leaving. He'd been having an affair for months and wanted to be with her. Our daughter was only a baby.

I'm sorry, but your relationship with him is over. Even if he's not cheating, he's not happy in your relationship. Many, many women are told on here that not being happy is enough of a reason to split. Wouldn't it be better to co-parent separately than to get married and live a life in which you're all unhappy?

You need to look to the future and make life happy for you and your child. Being a single mother is a hugely daunting prospect, but the reality is far from scary. I love my life now, but then I thought I wouldn't survive the first week of being alone.

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