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I feel like wallpaper

(7 Posts)
SocksRock Fri 22-Apr-16 23:26:30

Just hanging around, sort of OK, not really interesting enough to notice.

Been with DH 15 years, we have 3 kids. He just doesn't talk anymore. Comes home, mutters a few pleasantries, we eat and then that's it. No convo. I keep trying and getting nowhere.

I have had bad anxiety, but with medication and counselling it's under control. I've also just gone back to work after an 18month break.

I'm not asking for too much to have a conversation sometimes?

SicknSpan Sat 23-Apr-16 07:16:17

No its certainly not too much to ask. Have you told him tis how you feel?

KramerVSKramer Sat 23-Apr-16 07:33:12

What would he like that would be out of character, yet positive and not in any way undermining of either of you?

Would he interact fully if you were to meet him after work in a one to one social setting for drinks and dinner?

Is he plagued by social media, phone, tablet?is he drinking?

Maybe doing something to break the norm is what you both need to kickstart?

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 23-Apr-16 07:42:04

What are the root causes of your anxiety; it is actually him?.

And you are still together because...

haveacupoftea Sat 23-Apr-16 09:12:36

I have anxiety and sometimes feel DP isn't interested in talking to me. But then i realise i have barely spoken a word to him in days because i've been so focused on my own thoughts swirling around in my own head.

I agree a night away/dinner out together wouldn't hurt.

SocksRock Sat 23-Apr-16 10:00:35

Sorry I fell asleep, just caught up.

It's death by online gaming, I think. Not Xbox, online strategy games - but where you have to form guilds etc so he has people relying on him to be there. All my pleading that it's just a game falls on deaf ears.

He is tired from work. Stressed from work - he co-owns the company and there are issues that are proving complex to solve.

We have money and support, so dinner and babysitting is possible - I just want hi to take the initiavie sometime I guess, but it never happpens.

The anxiety was work related - solved (hopefully) by leaving that job, having 18 months off with counselling and medication and then going back to a lower stress role. To give him his due, there was never a single complaint about me being at home, he never expected anything while I was getting better. But now I'm just a bit lost as to how to go back to a time before he got into the gaming.

SocksRock Sat 23-Apr-16 10:00:36

Sorry I fell asleep, just caught up.

It's death by online gaming, I think. Not Xbox, online strategy games - but where you have to form guilds etc so he has people relying on him to be there. All my pleading that it's just a game falls on deaf ears.

He is tired from work. Stressed from work - he co-owns the company and there are issues that are proving complex to solve.

We have money and support, so dinner and babysitting is possible - I just want hi to take the initiavie sometime I guess, but it never happpens.

The anxiety was work related - solved (hopefully) by leaving that job, having 18 months off with counselling and medication and then going back to a lower stress role. To give him his due, there was never a single complaint about me being at home, he never expected anything while I was getting better. But now I'm just a bit lost as to how to go back to a time before he got into the gaming.

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