Hello
Firstly I apologise for this being my first post and for it to be so desperate.
I'm in real need of advice of those who have had anything like I have before.
The background is that I want to leave my husband but we have three children (one of which is biologically his and two from my previous marriage). I have moved to the other end of the country to support him in his job and as such I have been unable to find work which I could commit to which works around his job. He works very odd hours and is away a lot, sometimes for long periods of time. I did try working from home in the evenings but I was exhausted being mum all day and then hurrying my kids into bed so I could work - sometimes until midnight. I tried hard but it was too much.
I live so far away from home that I'm uncertain how I'd even manage to get a house on my own back there. I'd need to get a job first but not sure how I'd manage that with being so far away. Also my parents are the only thing 'back home' and they are considering moving away from the area so I am unsure as to what I'd be going back for.
I can't afford to rent here, despite that possibly being the best idea as the children have schools here and like the area.
The other problem is that I have a fixed term bond with some inheritance in it. I've been informed that under no circumstances can I have access to the money until it matures in 2 years. I would rather use that money to help me get started alone but I can't access it and it says on the benefits calculator that if you have over 6k in savings (which it is) I can't claim.
I feel very trapped and far away from any kind of resolution.
I have tried many times over the last few years to make this work. There are very difficult circumstances with regards to our marriage. He isn't violent but he does withdraw emotionally which I find hard to deal with. He is very sexual and I'm sorry to say that I haven't found him sexually attractive for some time. Maybe even years.
We had a row the night before my sister's wedding nearly two years ago and she asked me then if I was happy. I had to lie and say yes - I was not about to bring this problem to her on the eve of her special day.
My family don't like him. He is often mean to my eldest children which I cannot stand and it is awful when he's mean in front of my family on the rare occasions we get to see them.
He has told me that there's no way we are ending this marriage. It's a firm NO. This scares me. I'm worried what will happen - surely this should be my decision?
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Please help - head all over the place...
11 replies
PloddingAlong123 · 22/04/2016 14:30
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