Nearly four years ago my friend did something/a succession of small things that eventually made me so upset I cut off contact with her without notice, explanation or civility. I was so consumed with hurt and anger that I couldn't face having that conversation with her. She had become my closest friend, ever. She felt like a sister to me and we shared so much in common in relation to aspects of our lives that her and her family became part our family. We spent special events with each other, went on holiday together and supported each other through some very difficult family situations. So, when these series of events happened I was devastated. I am not going to detail them because it may out me but suffice to say, within normal realms of perspective, she had not done anything that warranted such nasty behaviour from me. I've been in counselling for 4 months now for other issues and now I realise I still love and miss my friend very much.
Here is my dilemma: Should I apologise, regardless of whether she forgives me or not, or should I just leave it now. It was a very cowardly thing to do in the beginning but I was so overwhelmed with emotion and shock, I felt totally betrayed. There were also other huge things going on in my life at the time which were clouding my judgement, things which have taken the last, nearly four years, to resolve. If the shoe was on the other foot I really don't know how I would react in her position but I would hope that I could forgive...
Is it a good idea to apologise and try to move on or is it best to leave it and walk away? I'm not looking for criticism over the original situation, I've already dealt with that in my life, but a genuine idea of whether it can be repaired/closed properly or not. Is there a time limit on these things or should I continue on my way and accept that we will never speak again? Do friendships ever regrow after something like that?
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Relationships
I ghosted my friend and now I want to speak to her.
SparkleSoiree · 22/04/2016 11:46
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