I am the sole earner, juggling being a student with a part-time job so our income is a combination of my student loan and wages. DP had all benefits removed once I started receiving a student loan.
The pressure of being the sole earner, in a low-income household is starting to mount up and I am beginning to feel resentful towards DP. He lost his job through pro-longed illness and was receiving ESA, which he changed to JSA when he was well on the road to recovery and ready to face getting a job again. He has stuggled to find work but has received an unconditional offer for September to study something he has wanted to do for years and could lead to a well paid job. DP is older than me so going back to education is a big deal for him.
His JSA was stopped as they decided my student loan raised our income above the limit, we currently get by on £900 between us a month, to cover rent,bills, car and insurance and general living expenses. We don't have children, but very much want them and are planning on waiting until DP has finished his studies and is earning.
The problem?
I'm beginning to feel resentful of my DP not bringing any money to the table. In my head he isn't doing enough to find work in the meantime, although I know deep down his choices are limited due to his health but with the right job it would be fine. I feel like he makes excuses for not applying for certain jobs, but I don't know if this is just the resent talking. He does a lot around the house, 80% of the housework and most of the dog walking duties. He doesn't smoke, drink excessively or gamble but he does spend money on video games or his collectable items, sometimes he does spend too much but he is aware of this and has sold on or returned items he has bought on impulse.
I have debts of £2000 which I would like to start paying off, I'd like us to be able to go on holiday and to pay back family that has helped us out when times have been exceptionally difficult. DP doesn't seem as money-focused as me, and avoids the conversation. I am stressed, and feel like I am thinking about money constantly to the point seeing him buy something at £1 infuriates me and I can't get out of my head that it is "my money". I'm sick of being stressed, and feeling pressured by money but I am also sick of being a horrible person. I'm sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant and moan more than anything, but really what I want to know is how you cope with being a sole earner? Do you ever feel pangs of resentment? How do you deal with it?
Thank you in advance!
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Relationships
Coping with being the sole earner and feeling resentful.
rockabella · 21/04/2016 06:10
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