My husband of 11 years joined a Sugardaddy site on Valentines Day and even though he was peacocking about all the young and beautiful girls he was chatting with online, I found out what he was up to on Feb 19th when he left his laptop open. I really wanted to remain calm but emotions took over and I asked him to leave. He didn't leave and justified his actions to just being curious and he felt neglected by me. Things have not been great between us ever since my father passed away and I didn't get the emotional support I desperately needed.
I kept trying to talk to him about the website and warning him how things could escalate quite quickly and we came to a turning point on Feb 24th, where we both broke down in tears and renewed our love for each other and made commitments for the future and our kids. Two days later, he was on his laptop and I jokingly asked him "if he was back on the site"? He responded with a "no"....."but there is a girl on there, who is super hot and if she says yes, then I'm booking a room next week" He was drunk but I know when he's serious and this was serious. It was the middle of the night and we argued and I left. I didn't want to drag the kids out of bed but I had to leave the situation.
I'm married to him, the mother of his children and the person who has helped to shape the man he is now and yet he said it was none of my business and he's free to do what he wants. He declared himself separated from us and moved out during the first week of March. I found out a few weeks ago that he met with a girl half my age in central London on March 10th. He's adamant that he didn't enjoy the experience at all but just helped her to orgasm (twice!!) He's had erectile dysfunction for a while now, so I know intercourse would've been non-existent. He told me everything and I even know who she is from social media accounts.
At first there was no remorse but when he sees my tears or spends quality time with our dc, he feels extremely guilty. He's declared we are all he wants and he only went down that road because he thought I stopped loving him. Needless to say we ended up having a more physical relationship since he came back towards the end of March but I'm not sure if it's instinct or my hormones but why am I questioning things all over again? He has a strange sense of humour and always has done but he's been asking my opinion on threesomes...I'm a total prude and we were both virgins when we got married, so these questions have totally thrown me!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I thought I could bury what happened but I've become uber paranoid...
HonestApplejack · 20/04/2016 14:25
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