Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Please help me see sense...or not!

(3 Posts)
ThisIsTheRightTime Tue 19-Apr-16 18:10:02

Dear all,

I haven't been on Mumsnet for years and I have decided to make a fresh start with a new name, etc. It's good to be back!

Over a year ago my husband left me. His decision came as a huge shock to me but when he actually moved out the relief was immense, for our children too, as his behaviour towards us was getting worse and worse.

The past twelve months since he left have been horrendous and the worst thing, of course, has been seeing our wonderful children sad and afraid of seeing their father and the suffering he has inflicted on us all. I must confess I have become a much stronger person and have done everything I can to fight for what is right as well as remain calm and patient. The next few months will continue to be challenging.

As a woman, however, I am happier than I have been for a long time. I have more time to work on new professional projects and see my friends. For the past year I closed in on myself man- and relationship-wise. I needed to mourn my marriage and heal. Now, whilst I certainly cannot envisage a lasting relationship with a man I have opened up to the possibility of a little frivolity to counterbalance the struggles and courage of the recent past.

I recall before I got married I was an absolute idiot at reading any attraction signals from men; now I'm even more clueless! So, please, help me out here; I need a clear perspective and a little common sense.

So, there's this guy (younger, single with no children) who I have known in a professional context for over a year. He's reserved and shy. A couple of months ago I felt a shift in our interactions. Maybe I'm imagining this but I cannot help but think that when you feel some kind of tension it has to be mutual, on whatever level. He looks into my eyes for a good, few seconds when he sees me and he smiles in a way which makes his whole face lights up. He always appears in the office just as I've arrived and the last time I was driving towards his workplace I passed him on the road going in the opposite direction but as I arrived at his office a few seconds later I was surprised to see he'd come full circle and arrived back at the same time as me. He often tries to get close to me and the last time I saw him a few weeks ago, as he handed me two keys, he placed them one after the other in my hand and pressed the palm of his hand against mine, twice.

Feel free to laugh at me! Interaction with him on which ever level is tricky as his bosses are always around and I am being more reserved than usual as I respect his working environment too much to step out of line.

I'd be very grateful for any advice. Thank you so much and good evening to you all.

RiceCrispieTreats Tue 19-Apr-16 18:24:22

I think you're obsessing over tiny things and risk creating a fantasy.

Just ask him out. Best do deal with reality rather than a fantasy.

(Unless you're in in a senior position over him at work, in which case he's off-limits, whatever the attraction.)

ThisIsTheRightTime Tue 19-Apr-16 19:36:04

Thank you for your sound advice RiceCrispieTreats which is exactly what I needed. I am simply a client of his so no danger of rule breaking here.

I'm not sure I have the courage to ask him out though. Ha!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now