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In laws sleeping arrangements when visiting

(15 Posts)
flier Tue 19-Apr-16 06:38:10

I'd love to know what people's thoughts are on either you sleeping in parents or inlaws bed when staying there, or them sleeping in yours. Say you were having them house sit for a weekend and there are other beds for them to sleep in. I've just always balked at the idea, as does my dh, but I wondered what others thought on it were.

WellErrr Tue 19-Apr-16 06:41:28

I think it's odd if there are other beds available.

And wh would one want to sleep in another couple's bed if there was a choice?

OrangeSquashTallGlass Tue 19-Apr-16 06:46:35

My parents slept in our bed last time they house sat for us even though we have a spare bed. The spare bed is ok for a night or two but as they were staying longer we offered ours as it's much much comfier. DP wasn't bothered at all.

DM did bring her own bedding which I was a bit hmm at at first but it actually saved me doing more laundry so it all worked out well in the end grin.

MothershipG Tue 19-Apr-16 06:51:15

It's about where they will be most comfortable.

I would give up my bed for parents but it's in the loft and my Dad can't manage the stairs so they are more comfortable using DD's room.

When we go to them we had their room as it was the biggest and we'd have one of the DC in with us.

ItsALuigi Tue 19-Apr-16 07:00:02

ILs once brought a blow up bed for the spare bedroom! It did have a bed in it already and their own bedding too.

But they also used to bring their own tea, coffee and sugar all in little canisters. Their own bread, sandwich filling, pizzas, sausage rolls etc it was the same everytime they came even if only for an hour hmm

Notso Tue 19-Apr-16 07:26:51

It doesn't bother me in the slightest. Why would it? It's no different to staying in a hotel.
DH and I have slept in PIL's bed and my parents bed. My parents sleep in our bed if they babysit for a night. When I stay at my sisters and her DP gets up to go to work I get in his side and me and my sister have a cup of tea in bed.

Why are you even interested in what other people do anyway?

katienana Tue 19-Apr-16 07:31:21

I stayed in my parents bed once when ds was a couple of weeks old so I could use the ensuite. We have a nice double I the guest room so wouldn't offer up our bed for any reason.

TotalConfucius Tue 19-Apr-16 07:50:01

I've recently had to overcome my Yuck-reaction when DSis and DBIL offered to house sit and look after all the animals, thus saving us £400 (and yes, that's just a week, it's a kind-of small holding). The aftermath has been ok, my bed is not besmirched. But my sister is very respectful. She brought her own sheet and duvet set, giving the reason that she uses a certain washing powder on account of allergies.
I wouldn't countenance giving up my bed to guests, nor hosts giving up theirs for me.

flier Tue 19-Apr-16 14:18:51

Thanks everyone. Interested to see the range of different responses, and glad to see I'm not alone in my discomfort in this.

HeddaGarbled Tue 19-Apr-16 15:30:29

For my parents and grandparents it was the norm to give up the best bedroom to guests and the best bedroom was always that of the parents of the house. It was considered to be the most hospitable thing to do. This may be a class thing - people with small houses and no spare bedrooms. When the children left home, it was normal to leave the single beds and childhood furniture rather than refurnish as a guest bedroom.

So this may just be a generational thing. Our generation often have spare bedrooms for guests so consider it odd to give up our own bed when we have people staying.

BiddyPop Tue 19-Apr-16 15:50:26

Generally, ILs got the spare beds (2 singles) when visiting. For about 4 years, we had au pairs so the spare room was no longer available, and due to DH cockups on HIS travel arrangements, had to call on his DPs to come and stay while I also had business trips (I had about 1-2 per year, involving 1 overnight and a midnight return time - whereas he spent 2 weeks away and 2 weeks home - I'd arrange it so he would be here when I wasn't and he'd change his schedule without thinking). So PIL stayed maybe 3 times to cover that, as it wasn't a fair burden on the au pairs, and used our bed.

I have never stayed in a bed of either my DPs or DPILs. Spare beds always in their houses (and in my DPs holiday house, "their" room is sacrosanct no matter how many others are there and whether they are present or not!).

We grew up, and so did DHs family, with the DCs being turfed out if beds were needed for visitors. I know that my own DPs had the same in their houses, it was never the parents (homeowners) who moved from their bed. Even when hosting their own parents or own now married DCs.

I don't move from my own bed for any visitors now that we no longer have au pairs - that is what the spare room is for.

MothershipG Tue 19-Apr-16 15:52:30

OP Do you never go on holiday? How do you cope with hotel beds? Or is it just your in-laws you have problems with?

flier Wed 20-Apr-16 17:16:07

Biddypop and heddagarbled - your viewoints are where I'm coming from with all of this - its not that I have a problem persay with PIL or Parents, I just feel my bed is sacrosanct and "my" bed. Anyway, thank everyone for your views.

MothershipG Yes I go on holiday and stay in hotels and cope very well thanks :-)

CatchIt Wed 20-Apr-16 17:17:23

I sleep in my parents bed when I house sit, but it's just me & dd as DH stays at home.

I wouldn't feel comfortable having DH in my parents bed with me though.

WallyBantersJunkBox Wed 20-Apr-16 17:46:47

Situational here. If my partners parents were coming and I was on holiday then I'd take the sofa bed as it's very "jabby" blush

But they'd probably prefer it as there's a bathroom off that bedroom on the ground floor so total privacy.

If I was working and needed sleep, and wardrobe dithering access each morning I'd stay in my room with my delightful bed. grin

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